Hang in there you guys. You are committed to your dogs and you will work through this. Even though all the dogs' lives have changed a lot recently with the addition of Hanzo just remember that you are the boss. If they are going to get anything from you they have to do something for you first e.g. sitting before they get their dinner, sitting before you give them attention etc. We got our Shiba Koshi as a 3 year old and we had a very dog aggressive female Malamute. It took a while but eventually everything worked out fine. There were a few scuffles over the years but nothing that we couldn't handle. Just to give you something to laugh about, one of the worst things Koshi did during the first week was to sneak up behind me as I sat on the floor playing with the dogs, and then he lifted his leg and peed on my back!
Awe, Romi. Ninja is definitely not a lost cause. He's done so well with the behaviorist. You have been patient and learned so much. It's a process - a long difficult one, but I know you have the perseverance and the strength to pull through.
Well, unfortunately, last Saturday John and I made the really difficultdecision to return Hanzo to the breeder. It was really tough on me and still is. Basically on Friday night, I put Hanzo in his pen and Ninja and Portia were out. I saw Ninja walk over to Hanzo's pen and heard a low growl. John grabbed Ninja's lead and corrected him. Ninja started growling louder and started showing his teeth, so John gave him another correction. After the 2nd correction, Ninja charged John and tried to bite him twice. John had to lift Ninja off the ground to keep him from charging him. It was the most horrible thing to watch. John took Ninja and put him in our bedroom and I started balling. We talked for hours about what we should do.
I felt like a failure, to Hanzo for not being able to give him the great forever home he deserves and to Ninja for not having control and making him feel safe enough to relax. I feel really stupid and ignorant. I really thought I did everything right. I read past posts on the forum about introductions and searched the web for more information. I talked to my behaviorist and he thought it would be fine. I took Ninja and Portia to meet Hanzo. I had my behaviorist assist me with the introduction at our home. We were correcting Ninja's negative behavior around Hanzo and praising him for good behavior. But it just wasn't working. We could see that Ninja was stressed all the time and Hanzo was adjusting to his new home and I’m sure it wasn't helping that Ninja would charge him any chance he got.
It got to the point where I didn't feel safe at my house by myself with the dogs. I didn't feel that I could control a situation by myself if a fight did break out. Instead of things settling down with time, things got worse. It was really overwhelming for me, I just broke down. I thought I was ready and prepared to take on anything, with all the improvements Ninja was making. It sucks that I had to bring in another dog to really see for myself how bad Ninja's aggression towards other dogs is. I really should have known better, it was too soon. We've only had Ninja for 5 months. We started working with our behaviorist 2 months ago and then we decide to bring in a 3 year old intact male. It was a decision we made without really thinking of all the consequences.
I keep replaying the whole situation in my mind - trying to figure out where we went wrong, what we could've done better, and what we should've done. I just had to put Hanzo first. I was selfish for bringing him into an unstable environment. He didn't deserve to be secluded and on lead all the time, neither did Ninja. It probably wasn't the best choice that we chose to get an adult intact male for our next dog either. Managing to move the dogs to separate areas of the house was a handful, especially since I couldn't just pick up Hanzo and put him somewhere.
But to be honest, I’m glad that we gave it a chance. I learned a lot from it and am determined to continue to work with Ninja on his issues. It just really sucks that I had to bring in another dog to see how bad Ninja is. When we dropped off Hanzo at the breeder, he seemed happy to be back. Once we exited the freeway he became very alert, like he knew he was back home. When we went to meet the breeder, he walked straight up to her and started wagging his tail. He went up to her other dogs and greeted them happily too. It just seemed like he was relieved. That kind of made me realize that he was happier with her and that he would be ok with her. I worried that he would get depressed moving from place to place, but he seemed very happy to be back with her and her dogs.
Overall, I’m still heartbroken about it, and I’m really beating myself up. People tell me that I did the best that I could, but I just feel so bad. I even had hate towards Ninja because we had to return Hanzo. But who am I to punish him for his behavior. John kept telling me that my safety and comfort means more than Hanzo's. And If I’m not comfortable in my own house, we need to give him back. There is no reason for me to feel scared and uncomfortable in my house in turn for a dog to have a home, that isn't even a good environment for him anyway. It was a really tough decision, but it was true and I had to face the facts, why am I putting a new dogs' comfort before mine? I donno, this was just a really big slap in the face for me.
I just wanted to let you guys know. So thats it. Hanzo is back with the breeder and Ninja and Portia are happy again. Thank you guys for all your support before, I really appreciate it. I am truly grateful for this forum and all the members on it. I don't know what I would do without you guys.
I know how tough a decision that must have been for you Romi. It sounds like you did the right thing and you shouldn't have any regrets at all. We are always here for you. Keep you chin up!
Don't despair - you are no failure - you have learned a great deal and that counts for something. You have a clearer picture of what you are dealing with now, a real clear picture, and you are responsible enough to realize that you must be comfortable in your own home and not scared, that Ninja has a ways to go, and that Hanzo would be safer back at the breeders, they are all hard realizations in your situation. That takes a lot of guts to come to terms with. I admire your ability to reason in that way.
Sometimes the hardest decision a responsible dog owner makes is to not own a dog. I know you remember what I went through with Bunny. I felt all the feelings you are feeling now. At least you can take comfort with the fact that Hanzo has a chance now to live in a safe happy home. And while it is sad that yours was not the pack he was meant to be with, he will find his forever pack. And there will come a time when you can more easily add another member to your family (likely a female would be slightly easier) and once Ninja gets a little older he will hopefully get more accepting of other dogs. I am sorry you had to go through this. If there is anything I can do, let me know.
I'm really sorry Romi, but don't be so hard on your self - I am sure Hanzo was picking up the stress and was uncomfortable too.
Its really very scary when you see a dog you love and care for turn on you or on another dog, for us humans its just really hard to understand - but for them its pure mechanics.
No failure, just a learning experience.
I have posted this quote before, but I'll post it again:
"The toad that squats the lowest jumps the highest." - Buddha
Some times it takes the worst of situations to reveal the correct path.
Thanks guys, I can't help myself from thinking about it. Its going to take me sometime to get over it, thats just my way of recovering.
Jess - Thank you, it must have been a lot harder on you and Jason since Bunny had to be put down. At least Hanzo is with the breeder and not in a bad situation where if I don't keep him, he'll be in trouble. That is one thing that has helped me a lot. Knowing that he will find a good home soon and that there is no time limit on his placement.
Brad - I really appreciate your support. Thank you for calling and talking to me. That was very nice of you. I was really shocked and scared when I saw Ninja charge John, and I can understand Ninja's frustration at the time, but it seemed that when he was in that state of mind, nothing mattered to him. Just really shocking. Thank you for the quote and kind words, it gives me hope.
Sorry about the whole situation Romi and John. But don't think of it as a failure, you tried and you learned for you experience. You now know you'll have to continue working with Ninja, to try and getting him to be more acceptant of other dogs. Don't let this get to you too much, you have a pack at home, that gets along great, so you have to know what you're doing. Maybe it was just too soon to add.
Romi you did the right thing and everyone is in a better, safer situation now. Just think how you would have felt if Ninja and Hanzo had ended up in a fight and one of them was hurt?
Ninja has issues, it might take a few years to fix them, or maybe Portia will be the only dog who he ever wants to live with. Only time will tell, and that is what Ninja really needs, some time to grow up and mature.
Hey Romi, seems like the outcome was the best for all concerned. You certainly would not be a good dog owner if you are afraid in your own home. And it seems Hanzo was happy and relieved to be back to his comfort zone! Alls well that ends well... You gave it your best shot, and learned this situation was not to be. Feel proud of yourself for making the right decision!
Comments
We got our Shiba Koshi as a 3 year old and we had a very dog aggressive female Malamute. It took a while but eventually everything worked out fine. There were a few scuffles over the years but nothing that we couldn't handle.
Just to give you something to laugh about, one of the worst things Koshi did during the first week was to sneak up behind me as I sat on the floor playing with the dogs, and then he lifted his leg and peed on my back!
I felt like a failure, to Hanzo for not being able to give him the great forever home he deserves and to Ninja for not having control and making him feel safe enough to relax. I feel really stupid and ignorant. I really thought I did everything right. I read past posts on the forum about introductions and searched the web for more information. I talked to my behaviorist and he thought it would be fine. I took Ninja and Portia to meet Hanzo. I had my behaviorist assist me with the introduction at our home. We were correcting Ninja's negative behavior around Hanzo and praising him for good behavior. But it just wasn't working. We could see that Ninja was stressed all the time and Hanzo was adjusting to his new home and I’m sure it wasn't helping that Ninja would charge him any chance he got.
It got to the point where I didn't feel safe at my house by myself with the dogs. I didn't feel that I could control a situation by myself if a fight did break out. Instead of things settling down with time, things got worse. It was really overwhelming for me, I just broke down. I thought I was ready and prepared to take on anything, with all the improvements Ninja was making. It
sucks that I had to bring in another dog to really see for myself how bad Ninja's aggression towards other dogs is. I really should have known better, it was too soon. We've only had Ninja for 5 months. We started working with our behaviorist 2 months ago and then we decide to bring in a 3 year old intact male. It was a decision we made without really thinking of all the
consequences.
I keep replaying the whole situation in my mind - trying to figure out where we went wrong, what we could've done better, and what we should've done. I just had to put Hanzo first. I was selfish for bringing him into an unstable environment. He didn't deserve to be secluded and on lead all the time, neither did Ninja. It probably wasn't the best choice that we chose to get an adult intact male for our next dog either. Managing to move the dogs to separate areas of the house was a handful, especially since I couldn't just pick up Hanzo and put him somewhere.
But to be honest, I’m glad that we gave it a chance. I learned a lot from it and am determined to continue to work with Ninja on his issues. It just really sucks that I had to bring in another dog to see how bad Ninja is. When we dropped off Hanzo at the breeder, he seemed happy to be back. Once we exited the freeway he became very alert, like he knew he was back home. When we went to meet the breeder, he walked straight up to her and started wagging his tail. He went up to her other dogs and greeted them happily too. It just seemed like
he was relieved. That kind of made me realize that he was happier with her and that he would be ok with her. I worried that he would get depressed moving from place to place, but he seemed very happy to be back with her and her dogs.
Overall, I’m still heartbroken about it, and I’m really beating myself up. People tell me that I did the best that I could, but I just feel so bad. I even had hate towards Ninja because we had to return Hanzo. But who am I to punish him for his behavior. John kept telling me that my safety and comfort means more than Hanzo's. And If I’m not comfortable in my own house, we need to give him back. There is no reason for me to feel scared and uncomfortable in my house in turn for a dog to have a home, that isn't even a good environment for
him anyway. It was a really tough decision, but it was true and I had to face the facts, why am I putting a new dogs' comfort before mine? I donno, this was
just a really big slap in the face for me.
I just wanted to let you guys know. So thats it. Hanzo is back with the breeder and Ninja and Portia are happy again. Thank you guys for all your support before, I really appreciate it. I am truly grateful for this forum and all the members on it. I don't know what I would do without you guys.
And there will come a time when you can more easily add another member to your family (likely a female would be slightly easier) and once Ninja gets a little older he will hopefully get more accepting of other dogs.
I am sorry you had to go through this. If there is anything I can do, let me know.
Its really very scary when you see a dog you love and care for turn on you or on another dog, for us humans its just really hard to understand - but for them its pure mechanics.
No failure, just a learning experience.
I have posted this quote before, but I'll post it again:
"The toad that squats the lowest jumps the highest." - Buddha
Some times it takes the worst of situations to reveal the correct path.
----
Jess - Thank you, it must have been a lot harder on you and Jason since Bunny had to be put down. At least Hanzo is with the breeder and not in a bad situation where if I don't keep him, he'll be in trouble. That is one thing that has helped me a lot. Knowing that he will find a good home soon and that there is no time limit on his placement.
Brad - I really appreciate your support. Thank you for calling and talking to me. That was very nice of you. I was really shocked and scared when I saw Ninja charge John, and I can understand Ninja's frustration at the time, but it seemed that when he was in that state of mind, nothing mattered to him. Just really shocking. Thank you for the quote and kind words, it gives me hope.
----
But don't think of it as a failure, you tried and you learned for you experience. You now know you'll have to continue working with Ninja, to try and getting him to be more acceptant of other dogs.
Don't let this get to you too much, you have a pack at home, that gets along great, so you have to know what you're doing. Maybe it was just too soon to add.
Ninja has issues, it might take a few years to fix them, or maybe Portia will be the only dog who he ever wants to live with. Only time will tell, and that is what Ninja really needs, some time to grow up and mature.
Take care and enjoy Ninja and Portia!