My puppy in another's care

LinkZLLinkZL
edited July 2009 in General
Hello,

I believe I have came across one of my first puppy ownership milestone.

I have left my puppy, Link, for two night's in my boyfriend's family's care. They have raised a cocker spaniel on their own, so I thought they are trustworthy to look after my dog.

Unfortunately, when I came back I was a bit surprised. They didn't follow my feeding instructions at all. They have moved my 3 months old puppy from a three times a day feeding schedule to two times a day, and they even left the food out for him to finish through the day. I have instructed them to moisten the food for my Link before feeding, and they just feed him the dry kibbles. Also, they tried to feed my dog human food, which is a behavior I didn't want my dog to pick up.

What made me even more uncomfortable was their comment about my training and relationship with my dog. They said I wasn't training my dog efficiently, because I don't yell "no", hit my dog's nose or yank the leash, basically not doing the alpha male training. It becomes even more ironic that the family though they taught my dog a new trick, which the "sit" trick that he learned on day one.

I, personally, don't feel I am a bad trainer, because I believe yelling no and hitting/tapping my dog's nose will only frustrate me. After saying "no" three times, if Link doesn't listen, he gets his time out. With the hitting/tapping, it may hurt Link or confuse Link into thinking that it's a form of play, and most of all, it will make me very angry at my puppy. I understand my limit and I know what type of dog I want my puppy to become, do you think I will need to become the alpha male or will my time out/reward training will do?

Right now, I don't feel comfortable with leaving my puppy with that family's care anymore. They have ignored my instructions and believes they have the better training method, which I don't agree. In your opinion, do you think my feeling is just? I am very grateful that they have taken care of my puppy, but I don't think I will want the same welcome again.

Please share your stories and your insight!

Comments

  • okironokiron
    edited November -1
    It's not their place to say anything or do anything different than what they were instructed to do. You are just to feel that way IMO. Hitting only goes so far and when hitting doesn't work anymore what can you do? You already did the most extreme way to get him to listen.
  • shimaurashibalover92shimaurashibalover92
    edited November -1
    We've used positive reinforcement with Katsu so far and it's worked great. I really wouldn't suggest hitting your Shiba. Dawn said she would have "freaked the fuck out" on those people. I wouldn't leave them in charge again either. Who knows they may decide to take Link on an off lead walk? Stick to what your doing, and remember it's your dog and ultimately you decide how you want to train him.
  • lindsaytlindsayt
    edited November -1
    Firstly, to be quite honest, what jerks! They do not deserve the grace of your dogs presence ever again. Period. You charged them to follow your directions for care for an infant basically and although the pup doesn't appear to be harmed, you can't trust them to do what you requested which were completely reasonable requests.

    You are quite right to avoid alpha methods and spanking with your Shiba, but it is important for your pup to understand that when you say something is off limits, it is. You don't need to repeat "no" over and over, try not to even use that word. Try changing the pup's focus onto something else and reward for that (ignore the bad behavior within reason and PRAISE the good behavior). That stinks!
  • StrangerStranger
    edited November -1
    You definitely need new puppy sitters, but it sounds to me like this is an issue that transcends dog-raising. They basically decided to ignore your wishes/instructions and then even lectured you about how much better their ideas were! This is simply disrespectful, whether it was your dog, child, car, bag of potato chips, etc. Even if they were 'right' (not saying I think they were), there is a courteous and unpatronizing way for them to convey to you that they think you could do better, and this was not it.

    Maybe you should try tapping them on the nose and yelling No!
  • CaliaCalia
    edited November -1
    Everyone has their own way of raising/training a dog, and there's nothing wrong with raising your dog differently than others (just as there's nothing wrong with having a different religious beliefs or lifestyle). NO ONE has the right to tell you your way of doing something is WRONG (unless, of course, that way would cause severe harm/death to either yourself or other).

    Some people will raise their kids with spankings, others raise with time outs. Link is YOUR 'child', thus YOUR responsibility and YOUR methods of training. Personally, I feel tapping of the nose is not only a bad 'discipline' technique, but if 'tapped' too hard it could cause sinus issues to the dog and make them become head-shy. Plus, if you tried doing that to my sister's dog, that finger would become the consistency of apple sauce. I would never trust putting my hands in front of a dogs mouth, even with my own, if they aren't in the greatest of moods.

    Besides, cocker spaniels are not shibas. Shibas would not handle these 'training' techniques the way a cocker would. Keep up with what makes you comfortable, and start looking for a better sitter. At least from this experience, you have learned what to look for in a sitter. Even if the person is your best friend, be sure to ask them lots of questions about how they raise/train their dog. Find someone who does similar methods as you, instead of expecting someone who does other methods the give your dog 'special' treatment.
  • CreamyShibaMomCreamyShibaMom
    edited July 2009
    Handsdown that is just disrespectful to you and your wishes. Perhaps they thought they were doing you a favor and therefore have a right to do whatever/however they see fit.

    *edit* That however does not mean they have a right to treat your dog they way they want it. If your dog got sick are they paying for the vet bills too? Didn't think so.

    And Joe, did I tell you I love Dawn? ;-) She's just as firey as I am..I would have freaked the F out as well.
  • SayaSaya
    edited November -1
    Me and my family went away to my brother's wedding we had our cousin watch Dink my old dog and she did horrible left her for the whole day only came in the evenings so there was pee everywhere I understand she is a old dog she does pee without letting us know she needs to go out so we let her know she needed to come in the morning and evening to let her out and feed her my mom paid her alot I wished she waited to pay her after the wedding so she could have halved it.

    It's so hard to find a good dog sitter my cousin even owns a pug so I thought she would have been good, but I guess not next I know better..

    Sorry you had that bad experiance. =\
  • tjbart17tjbart17
    edited November -1
    Your feelings are totally valid. Everyone trains their dog differently. I have NEVER tapped my puppy's nose or yelled NO at them and everyone has always loved inviting my animals over to their house because they grow up to be very well behaved dogs. If you are comfortable with postitive reinforcement and time outs and you feel like it is working than keep on keeping on. IMO that's the best training method.

    Now this alpha blah blah blah. I have never quite understood domination and abuse tactics to become your dog's alpha. If you are a strong leader who leads with confidence, praise, and compassion then your dog will bond with you more than if you hit its nose. My grandmother showed and breed Cockers for years while I was growing up. I can tell you that hitting them only causes fear and Cockers who have been trained like this can grow up to be grumpy old dogs who bite and snap. My friend Michelle's parents learned the hard way when my 2 year old God daughter went up to their male Cockers face to touch his nose and he took her by the top of the head and swung her around by it. In the end, baby with stitches and a dead dog is all that came out of training their dog with the flicking the nose tactic.

    Find someone else who will watch your puppy and go with your gut.
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