@brada1878, it's all just part of it lol They will settle in and adjust just fine. You and Jen do an amazing job with these dogs. With a big move/change things will always be tough in the beginning.... they have to be reprogrammed in a way. New house, new people, new schedule, new everything..... that is a tough adjustment but they'll get the hang of it and be happy as can be So, don't stress too much
@brada1878 yeah it's pretty stressful, I'm definitely going to keep trying to make her more comfortable here! It's tough because there's sooooo much to condition her for here. It's always one thing after another that I can't control! And it stresses the heck out of me too
So this morning, the alarm bell went off. It's really mother freakin loud, invasive and scary sounding. Like an alarm clock bell but 10x louder. She completely lost it, and it was morning so that totally woke us up, and since she was freaking out, we had to somehow rush to get her harnessed and in the car. Then we waited a bit, but it was still going and she could hear it from the basement garage so we took turns to sit with her while one person went back in the house to wash up so we could at least drive around. She's calm and resting so we go back a few hours later and we see the alarm company is gone.
We go back home but she completely loses control of her bowel movement and does the nastiest diarrhea I've ever seen. It's more water than solid. Pretty bad.
Then my neighbour decided to do some drilling, sawing and hammering and of course she's really nervous again. Pacing, panting, and she jumps when I move too fast, won't come when I call, and it's back to square 1, if not, maybe even worse.
I'm back in the car now, sitting in the back seat with Hana, and I made a little den for her by draping a blanket over the headrest so she can feel safe.
I'm so tired and stressed and upset at these uncontrollable situations and so frustrated that this is happening all at once, and I feel so bad for hana and just want her to feel comfortable and safe with me so she can be happy.
Luckily this is a Saturday, and while I was hoping to spend it relaxing and bonding and strengthening her conditioning with our area, I'm spending it trying to salvage whatever is left of what I already built with her.
But what if there's construction while I'm at work? Or the fire alarm goes off when nobody's home? It really worries me
I forgot to mention, now the house smells like really bad poop, she's too afraid to do anything and go anywhere, and I need advice on how to make this better for her!
Ooh poor girl. Maybe crate her and put a cover over her so it's less stimulating? I heard this works for some shibas with high anxiety levels. I know it really sucks. hang in there, we r rooting for u and Hana.
In the meantime, I don't how feasible/logical this would be given that u just got her but perhaps start conditioning her with noises on a recorder at a low setting first?
A covered crate and some soft playing music. Don't fuss over her too much because the re-enforces the nervous behavior. Just some quiet time in her crate to de-compress.
Oh my goodness, poor thing....I feel for you both! It's so difficult to drill it down exactly, although meeting Hana in the past. You could try melatonin for evenings to take the edge off. It can be obtained at most health food stores. I would also isolate her to one area such as expen or kitchen and use her crate for other times when away. Provide some toys such as a gum bone or stuffed kongs if possible or even stuffed wobbler if there is a way to get her interested in that and divert her attention.
As far as sound sensitivity and noise pollution you can get sound dvds for dogs http://throughadogsear.com/ As I have mentioned in other posts I would pair desensitization with a fun or positive association such as play, toys or food if at all possible. What does she offer/do when calm to entertain herself?
Getting her to self calm is important. Was there anything she did before that reduced anxiety, for example chewing nylabones, stick,s stuffed toys or even cardboard? If she chews to calm, paper towel rolls or egg cartons can be helpful to expend tension. Getting her moving with some jogging or running some trails might help too. In home games may be helpful as well when she normalizes a bit.
In working with acoustically challenged dogs we have used kids toy buzzers and gag gift sirens with buttons on it so that dog could control the sound themselves via their own motion as part of clicker work as we played games with it. tea kettle is another one that we controlled.
Talk with Jen to see if he has some ideas too......A behaviorist might be helpful to get you headed in the right direction...
Hang in there...try to stay calm yourself so that she does not mirror off your stress.
Snf
PS: Spotbot steam cleaner might help with the rug and getting the stench out.
@thegela you can do this, I know it sucks but it definitely gets better. Take her out of the environment, take her for a loooong tired to the bones walk at a park see if hubby can sanitize the house while you're out. You will have many chances for redos. I think it is so hard because we are so keyed into them being happy we may lose sight of how far you've already come. Someone said it before in my thread but you'll have many chances. The stress lessens sooner than later, it is very hard to stay keyed in to them for so long. You are doing great.
@thegela Man those are some crazy unfortunate happenings, it must be really frustrating Diarrhea specific, my foster Shiba had straight liquid as if his butt was a faucet. Once I started including raw turkey in his diet (every other dinner) then it all went away. I'm thinking the more natural, raw additions to his diet were a lot more calming and neutral for the stomach vs only processed kibble which is a large variety of ingredients.
Thanks everyone. She's crated, and it's usually overhead anyway, but I put on some classical music and she's much calmer. Also helps that the construction has stopped.
@staticnfuzz she doesn't do much to entertain herself. She just sits on our couch and hangs out with us. (Not a bad thing!) shes not really a chewer either.. And recently lost interest in the wobbler to get her food it's hard when she gets stressed because nothing will get her attention. Se totally loses focus and "forgets" everything. Thank you for the link tho. I will try it out! I tried giving her treats while the construction was going on to help her be "ok" with the noise, but she would just take it and immediately forget about it and be stressed again. So tough.
She's in her crate, won't touch dinner, but will occasionally chew on her bulky stick, or bury it in the folds of her blanket. I hope she can eat tho
Now it's a matter of re-introducing the house to her again. And working on our walks. I wish I could take her for a long and tired walk @cdenney! It's impossible to take a new route with her because she won't move! I feel like we're just going back and forth from like... Square 1 to 4 then back to 2 then 3 then 1 again... Yknow what I mean? But I am thankful she's on the forgiving side, although she won't forget that she was upset, which makes it hard to move forward.
Raw turkey? @cezieg do you freeze it first? I have no idea how to prepare raw meals for her! Tips? Easy steps?
At this point I think her loose stool is due to stress more than anything. Be calm and relaxed around the house and just do your thing. Kai pick up on the smallest things and even your little bit of worry about her is enough for her to pick up on. I leave a radio on for my dogs when I am not around as well as keep them crated. The radio is just loud enough to drown out some of the other noises. When she starts to stress from the noises, just put her in her crate and cover it.
@thegela I understand I was stuck in a grassy courtyard for 45 min at midnight with her spazzing at nothing that she was fine with that am. It really does get better but it might be upwards of a month before a semblance of normalcy I'm thinking. It's tougher that we don't have dogs already to show them the way.
For my fearful dog (admittedly not a Kai), I've popped in boiled liver into the space between the canines and molars when he wouldn't take it from my fingers. I was totally surprised when he actually ate it. (And also surprised he didn't re-direct.) It didn't create an instant turnabout, but I've felt better that I still had the option of classical training.
If you got her Dec 1, and today is dec 9, then you have had her for 9 days, and some of those days had stressful events in them. After a single Scary Thing, it takes the body 7- 10 days to dissipate all the stress chemicals that 'dump' into circulation in response to the Scary Event. During this time of circulating chemicals, one (human, dog etc) is much more likely to be 'jumpy' and it is very hard to 'logically' operate with stimuli. Think of a time in which you have had a small car fender bender, then for how long afterward is just the sound of someone's brakes really alarming and giving you a physical rush of fear? If a few days after the 1 incident you had a near-miss, youd still be in the adrenalin state and it would feel worse and last longer. Consider that your dog has has been having 'near-misses' but hasnt been able to string together enough 'boring' days, enough days where 'nothing' happens. In short- go easy on yourself! There is only so much you can achieve under these circumstances. Not your bad.
What everyone has said is right- crates, music, I run a DAP diffuser for my fearful dog at times, and while I would crate him if crates didnt make him worse I DO have a safe place to Park him (my studio) where its quiet, he has limited view out windows (only the woods) and can be by himself away from triggers and stimulation. Yes, the fire alarm coudl go off when Im not here, or a hawk could land outside the slider but I can only control what I can control and only drive myself crazy worrying abotu every possible bad thing. At least I know he wont be freaking out or jumping at the door or redirecting onto my other dogs if the oil man delivers. Control what you can control, Construct a safe parking space (crate & environs), begin to make and train a bailout plan for when crap happens on walks (it always will), get housemates on board with the Rules for THIS Dog.
I absolutely hear you and know the frustration and despair of setbacks. I am in year 7 with my project dog (half kai) and the persistence of Murphy's Law still astounds me. You think you have everything covered and take him out and *something* will happen when I only have Sage that never happens when I take out my well-adjusted dogs. It sucks. Ive gotten SO mad, I threw a highly uncharacteristic NUTTY at a neighbor because after MANY polite discussions and asking she still woulndt keep her dog contained in his yard and he was following Sage and I on our leash walk. I have come home in tears and sobbed into Sage's mane (a terrible idea, btw- dumping my emotions all over my super sensitive dog,,,ugh- talk about piling up stresses on the poor guy.).
I felt a LOT better when I accepted that all I have is the dog in front of me now- not waiting to unlock some truer version of him someday- and that all I am is who I am right now, and that that is good enough- that Sage doesnt wish he had some famous trainer for an owner instead who could really 'repair' him back to his 'best self.' We are both less than perfect but certainly good enough for each other and all each other actually wants. SO we do the best we can, LISTEN to the dog (Sage also wont take long walks- he hates it, so we exercise with games, tug, etc. I am sure a real long walk till hes tired would be helpful, BUT the stress load that would place on him far outwegihs the exercise benefit and the damage to our trust of my pulling him along and otherwise 'making' him 'get over it' undoes all the good stuff. On a long walk,your opportunities to quickly bail out and go home, get out of the situation that is scaring her go waaaaaay down.) give yourselves a break- for many of our dogs 'boring=safe' and that is okay.
some reads to look into: Stress in Dogs - a short book, but with good perspective- at Dogwise, by von Reinhardt Scaredy Dog- Alli Brown Patricia McConnell has some good short booklets on fear and sep anx.
most of all, we are here for you. Weve been there, were still there, it IS hard but you can do it and it will get better. Go easy on yourself and its ok,ay to be very boring for a long time and let her fully decompress. There will be plenty of time for long walks and parks.
@sjp051993 yeah I also believe her loose poop is stress related. Sometimes it'll be mixed with more solid poop which makes me believe I can be a little happy because she wasn't as stressed the night before?
@ayk thanks! I'll look into it! Anything that can help is super appreciated!
@wrylybrindle wow. Thank you so so much... Your words are super encouraging and you're right.. She is who she is, and I am who I am... It's just... So hard. Like just now I was so defeated by our walk this morning. She usually never had a problem with me putting a harness on her, and this morning, I knew she had to potty and that she wanted to go out, but she didn't want to put it on and immediately went back into the crate and wouldn't have anything to do with me. Finally after lots of teats, she got her harness on and went for a walk. It sounds okay, but she's started pulling and not listening to me. (She used to not pull and go where I wanted to go) When she sees another person or dog in the distance, she becomes like a statue and won't budge. Calling her, happy talk, a little tugging, nothing will work. She will take a treat, but will go back to not listening and being stubborn. She will actually go in the opposite direction. I tried going where she wanted to go a couple of times because I thought maybe it might make her feel better, but it doesn't really work. She may know what I'm trying to do and start to go backwards again, or if she sees someone, she'll back up, and won't budge. She's ok with me handling her (picking her up, touching paws when she's relaxed, petting, hugs, and usually harnessing except for this morning) so I picked her up and walked towards the direction I wanted to go to "reset" her. It works for a bit until she sees someone again or hears a dog barking. I try to distract her by bending my knees to her eyelevel so she can come to me, and sometimes that works, but not lately. So again I pick her up and carry her. I know that maybe I shouldn't so I don't reinforce her fearful behaviour, but when she gets skittish, she'll try to go in the opposite direction and cant focus. She seems better when she's in my arms though. Eventually I feel like i had not choice but to carry her all the way back home. (Arms are getting a major work out)
Like you said, after a stressful/traumatic event, she's probably extra skittish and on edge, so maybe after an uneventful day today, tomorrow will be better.
It really does help that she was still happy to see me this morning, and was still a little affectionate after our walk. It gives me hope.
@hinata23 yes, Jen suggested dap or calming collars, and am looking into getting one from calmingcollars.com. Does anyone know this site? Do the herbal remedies work?
Thank you everyone for your continued support! Hana and I really really appreciate it!
@cdenney ohh interesting. Yeah she's okay with the entire house now, like she's chilled with us downstairs in the living room, but I'm confining her to our bedroom because I know that's her safe place. She's back in her crate just resting as we speak.
See if you can find some close to you with a calm dog. Introduce them to Hana. Once she is comfortable with them, go on walks with the other dog. If will help to build her confidence.
It helped ritsu. He would stress during our walks. I started walking him with one of my other dogs and it was a complete turnaround. Now if he starts to stress during our walk, he can see the other dog is calm about the situation and he calms right back down.
Sage also balks on walks, just like that. Sometimes I can tell why, sometimes only he knows why. I stopped trying to get him to take 'walks'- so I expect less, and I do two things different:
1) Its his walk. not mine. What would my childhood dog be doing on her free-roaming time? She wouldnt make distance, she would sniff everything, 'read' the environment, not walk down roads to GO anywhere. She would check out all around her house and yard before walking out into the neighborhood on a straight line. It seems silly to do this on leash walk, but not to a dog. Walk around the yard, dont leave any sentences unfinished- a loose dog would next throughly check otu the neighbor;s yard next door, which we cant do necessarily, but we can go real slow on the side of the road in front of the next house and - get right down with her and turn over rocks and leaves. Show her you are interested in the little close to home things even though really you just want to hustle by and go for a WALK.
2) Sometimes, we just stand still and I let him absorb and decide to go on or not. Sage takes time to think. I find with my purebred kai as well, that I must give them time to think and decide for themselves. (This is the opposite of a Cesar Millan- do as I say, I am leading you so you shoudl trust me thing.) If we walk and Sage stops, I stop and back up to stand parallel with him, I act real casual and bored if I see nothing going on, like I am unworried but waiting for him. Often, but not always, he will step ahead after considering things a for a bit- When he begins walking, THEN i treat him to reinofrce that he's glad he did. He is super cautious, he cant just hustle past a scent, or a go on despite a sound. He takes time., Hana might be that way, too? Sometimes he decided that the coyote scent is too strong and that the coyotes mean "STAY OUT!" so we go home, and play ball on the stairs or tug o war, or FIND IT instead of a walk.
Sage is also space-sensitive. We used to walk right next to each other on the side of the road, which is safe and sensible. I have found that giving him more time and space- walking down the middle of our dirt road, he will walk farther. Butits not a miracle, it just makes him feel less pressure. If I have Jeff walking Reilly (our oldest, biggest very confident dog) and me with Sage, he will walk the farthest and with the least worry and balking- but there is still a point he wont go past no matter what, and it is only about 1/2 mile from our house. The other dogs could hike for hours. Sage is Sage, and what is true for him just IS, and there are other dogs like him.
re: calming collar- I used a Good Behavior clmaing collar with Sage for a trip we took in the car, and it seemed to help him noticeably with the stress. It wont stop a panic if the shit actually hits the fan, but it seemed to take the base stress level starting point down to a comfortable level. He also has a Thundershirt, which sometimes seems helpful, sometimes probably not makign a difference, but certainly not harming.
@cdenney I don't think DAP is suppose to make drastic changes. It helps your dog feel slightly more comfortable and from I'm reading Sachi is doing better. You're suppose to use it for 4 months to see noticeable improvements, but I guess improvement with rehomed dogs could be credited to time and not DAP. We bought DAP after having ChoCho for a month and seeing no improvement. After having it installed for a 2 weeks we noticed she was a lot more calm in our room and backyard.
We also bought the Thunder Shirt and it worked pretty well! We'd put it on her when she was stress and pacing. As soon as it on was she'd lay down and sleep. I've also put it on my parents dog who freaks out when it's storming and she calmed down quite a bit. The only down side is that Goro likes to play tug-o-war with it while it's on ChoCho...
You do have to be pretty comfortable with putting things on the dog though... since you have to stretch the material and wrap it around them tightly.
@hinata23 I got the dap collar and spray (i kept reading reviews the infuser catches on fire). Collar to be worn all the time and spray ad needed. If I knew something traumatic might happen I would go for a spray somewhere on myself that would be close to her nose when interacting with her, she would sniff the smell once then dip. She ended up getting the collar off but since is has a months lifespan I strung it through her crate on a side wall, she still makes more noise and fuss in her crate then just locked in the room so I don't know. Thunder shirt sounds like a good idea but I have to get through harnessing first.
@cdenney I don't think anything helps them when their freaking out... silly pooches. We've never had a problem with the plug-in. We used to spray to spray her bed. Not sure that having it on a moving object works as well. Especially since you have your own smell.
The Thunder shirt was freaking magic for us. I know it doesn't work on every dog but it worked for us.
@Hinata23@cdenney Cool, I think I may try the thunder shirt. I have tried putting sweaters and stuff on her and she's very still and calm when I do. (At least she used to be... Not sure about now) Also I will probably buy a calming collar for her for our walks and see if that helps.
@sjp051993 yeah I think I'll try to see if I can arrange a walk with her with a neighbour dog or something. I know she's interested in meeting a dog friend, but it freaks her out when they are little moving forms far away. But a friend dog will probably help.
@Wrylybrindle The problem isn't letting her do her own thing when we first walk, like I'm totally okay with her doing her own thing, and since she started pulling, I started to let her do her own thing. The problem is she never wants to walk back towards home. I don't want to force her in a direction she doesn't want to go, but if its towards home that she refuses to go, that's a little different. She glances at me sometimes and I feel like she's surprised I'm there. I'll drop her treats or let her walk back to me and she takes it from my hand, but she will immediately go back to that "wild" state where she wants to do her own thing and refuses to go home. How far do I let her do her own thing before I have to pick her up and walk back home? Happy talks, pets, treats, nothing seems to entice her to go back home. Once she's home tho, she relaxes, hangs out, wags her tail at me... It's so strange.
@thegela Just saw Hana's pictures! She's so petite and cute! Would you like me to post the pictures here for you? In case you don't know how you just click on "Share" and select the "Grab the HTML/BBCode" tab, copy the info, and paste in the comment box
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So this morning, the alarm bell went off. It's really mother freakin loud, invasive and scary sounding. Like an alarm clock bell but 10x louder. She completely lost it, and it was morning so that totally woke us up, and since she was freaking out, we had to somehow rush to get her harnessed and in the car. Then we waited a bit, but it was still going and she could hear it from the basement garage so we took turns to sit with her while one person went back in the house to wash up so we could at least drive around. She's calm and resting so we go back a few hours later and we see the alarm company is gone.
We go back home but she completely loses control of her bowel movement and does the nastiest diarrhea I've ever seen. It's more water than solid. Pretty bad.
Then my neighbour decided to do some drilling, sawing and hammering and of course she's really nervous again. Pacing, panting, and she jumps when I move too fast, won't come when I call, and it's back to square 1, if not, maybe even worse.
I'm back in the car now, sitting in the back seat with Hana, and I made a little den for her by draping a blanket over the headrest so she can feel safe.
I'm so tired and stressed and upset at these uncontrollable situations and so frustrated that this is happening all at once, and I feel so bad for hana and just want her to feel comfortable and safe with me so she can be happy.
Luckily this is a Saturday, and while I was hoping to spend it relaxing and bonding and strengthening her conditioning with our area, I'm spending it trying to salvage whatever is left of what I already built with her.
But what if there's construction while I'm at work? Or the fire alarm goes off when nobody's home? It really worries me
As far as sound sensitivity and noise pollution you can get sound dvds for dogs http://throughadogsear.com/ As I have mentioned in other posts I would pair desensitization with a fun or positive association such as play, toys or food if at all possible. What does she offer/do when calm to entertain herself?
Getting her to self calm is important. Was there anything she did before that reduced anxiety, for example chewing nylabones, stick,s stuffed toys or even cardboard? If she chews to calm, paper towel rolls or egg cartons can be helpful to expend tension. Getting her moving with some jogging or running some trails might help too. In home games may be helpful as well when she normalizes a bit.
In working with acoustically challenged dogs we have used kids toy buzzers and gag gift sirens with buttons on it so that dog could control the sound themselves via their own motion as part of clicker work as we played games with it. tea kettle is another one that we controlled.
Talk with Jen to see if he has some ideas too......A behaviorist might be helpful to get you headed in the right direction...
Hang in there...try to stay calm yourself so that she does not mirror off your stress.
Snf
PS: Spotbot steam cleaner might help with the rug and getting the stench out.
Diarrhea specific, my foster Shiba had straight liquid as if his butt was a faucet. Once I started including raw turkey in his diet (every other dinner) then it all went away. I'm thinking the more natural, raw additions to his diet were a lot more calming and neutral for the stomach vs only processed kibble which is a large variety of ingredients.
@staticnfuzz she doesn't do much to entertain herself. She just sits on our couch and hangs out with us. (Not a bad thing!) shes not really a chewer either.. And recently lost interest in the wobbler to get her food it's hard when she gets stressed because nothing will get her attention. Se totally loses focus and "forgets" everything. Thank you for the link tho. I will try it out! I tried giving her treats while the construction was going on to help her be "ok" with the noise, but she would just take it and immediately forget about it and be stressed again. So tough.
She's in her crate, won't touch dinner, but will occasionally chew on her bulky stick, or bury it in the folds of her blanket. I hope she can eat tho
Now it's a matter of re-introducing the house to her again. And working on our walks. I wish I could take her for a long and tired walk @cdenney! It's impossible to take a new route with her because she won't move! I feel like we're just going back and forth from like... Square 1 to 4 then back to 2 then 3 then 1 again... Yknow what I mean? But I am thankful she's on the forgiving side, although she won't forget that she was upset, which makes it hard to move forward.
Raw turkey? @cezieg do you freeze it first? I have no idea how to prepare raw meals for her! Tips? Easy steps?
http://fearfuldogs.com/myth-of-reinforcing-fear/
For my fearful dog (admittedly not a Kai), I've popped in boiled liver into the space between the canines and molars when he wouldn't take it from my fingers. I was totally surprised when he actually ate it. (And also surprised he didn't re-direct.) It didn't create an instant turnabout, but I've felt better that I still had the option of classical training.
What everyone has said is right- crates, music, I run a DAP diffuser for my fearful dog at times, and while I would crate him if crates didnt make him worse I DO have a safe place to Park him (my studio) where its quiet, he has limited view out windows (only the woods) and can be by himself away from triggers and stimulation. Yes, the fire alarm coudl go off when Im not here, or a hawk could land outside the slider but I can only control what I can control and only drive myself crazy worrying abotu every possible bad thing. At least I know he wont be freaking out or jumping at the door or redirecting onto my other dogs if the oil man delivers. Control what you can control, Construct a safe parking space (crate & environs), begin to make and train a bailout plan for when crap happens on walks (it always will), get housemates on board with the Rules for THIS Dog.
I absolutely hear you and know the frustration and despair of setbacks. I am in year 7 with my project dog (half kai) and the persistence of Murphy's Law still astounds me. You think you have everything covered and take him out and *something* will happen when I only have Sage that never happens when I take out my well-adjusted dogs. It sucks. Ive gotten SO mad, I threw a highly uncharacteristic NUTTY at a neighbor because after MANY polite discussions and asking she still woulndt keep her dog contained in his yard and he was following Sage and I on our leash walk. I have come home in tears and sobbed into Sage's mane (a terrible idea, btw- dumping my emotions all over my super sensitive dog,,,ugh- talk about piling up stresses on the poor guy.).
I felt a LOT better when I accepted that all I have is the dog in front of me now- not waiting to unlock some truer version of him someday- and that all I am is who I am right now, and that that is good enough- that Sage doesnt wish he had some famous trainer for an owner instead who could really 'repair' him back to his 'best self.' We are both less than perfect but certainly good enough for each other and all each other actually wants. SO we do the best we can, LISTEN to the dog (Sage also wont take long walks- he hates it, so we exercise with games, tug, etc. I am sure a real long walk till hes tired would be helpful, BUT the stress load that would place on him far outwegihs the exercise benefit and the damage to our trust of my pulling him along and otherwise 'making' him 'get over it' undoes all the good stuff. On a long walk,your opportunities to quickly bail out and go home, get out of the situation that is scaring her go waaaaaay down.) give yourselves a break- for many of our dogs 'boring=safe' and that is okay.
some reads to look into:
Stress in Dogs - a short book, but with good perspective- at Dogwise, by von Reinhardt
Scaredy Dog- Alli Brown
Patricia McConnell has some good short booklets on fear and sep anx.
most of all, we are here for you. Weve been there, were still there, it IS hard but you can do it and it will get better. Go easy on yourself and its ok,ay to be very boring for a long time and let her fully decompress. There will be plenty of time for long walks and parks.
@ayk thanks! I'll look into it! Anything that can help is super appreciated!
@wrylybrindle wow. Thank you so so much... Your words are super encouraging and you're right.. She is who she is, and I am who I am... It's just... So hard. Like just now I was so defeated by our walk this morning. She usually never had a problem with me putting a harness on her, and this morning, I knew she had to potty and that she wanted to go out, but she didn't want to put it on and immediately went back into the crate and wouldn't have anything to do with me. Finally after lots of teats, she got her harness on and went for a walk. It sounds okay, but she's started pulling and not listening to me. (She used to not pull and go where I wanted to go) When she sees another person or dog in the distance, she becomes like a statue and won't budge. Calling her, happy talk, a little tugging, nothing will work. She will take a treat, but will go back to not listening and being stubborn. She will actually go in the opposite direction. I tried going where she wanted to go a couple of times because I thought maybe it might make her feel better, but it doesn't really work. She may know what I'm trying to do and start to go backwards again, or if she sees someone, she'll back up, and won't budge.
She's ok with me handling her (picking her up, touching paws when she's relaxed, petting, hugs, and usually harnessing except for this morning) so I picked her up and walked towards the direction I wanted to go to "reset" her. It works for a bit until she sees someone again or hears a dog barking. I try to distract her by bending my knees to her eyelevel so she can come to me, and sometimes that works, but not lately. So again I pick her up and carry her. I know that maybe I shouldn't so I don't reinforce her fearful behaviour, but when she gets skittish, she'll try to go in the opposite direction and cant focus. She seems better when she's in my arms though. Eventually I feel like i had not choice but to carry her all the way back home. (Arms are getting a major work out)
Like you said, after a stressful/traumatic event, she's probably extra skittish and on edge, so maybe after an uneventful day today, tomorrow will be better.
It really does help that she was still happy to see me this morning, and was still a little affectionate after our walk. It gives me hope.
@hinata23 yes, Jen suggested dap or calming collars, and am looking into getting one from calmingcollars.com. Does anyone know this site? Do the herbal remedies work?
Thank you everyone for your continued support! Hana and I really really appreciate it!
Here's a link to some of her photos
@sjp051993 thank you, I think that will help.
1) Its his walk. not mine. What would my childhood dog be doing on her free-roaming time? She wouldnt make distance, she would sniff everything, 'read' the environment, not walk down roads to GO anywhere. She would check out all around her house and yard before walking out into the neighborhood on a straight line. It seems silly to do this on leash walk, but not to a dog. Walk around the yard, dont leave any sentences unfinished- a loose dog would next throughly check otu the neighbor;s yard next door, which we cant do necessarily, but we can go real slow on the side of the road in front of the next house and - get right down with her and turn over rocks and leaves. Show her you are interested in the little close to home things even though really you just want to hustle by and go for a WALK.
2) Sometimes, we just stand still and I let him absorb and decide to go on or not. Sage takes time to think. I find with my purebred kai as well, that I must give them time to think and decide for themselves. (This is the opposite of a Cesar Millan- do as I say, I am leading you so you shoudl trust me thing.) If we walk and Sage stops, I stop and back up to stand parallel with him, I act real casual and bored if I see nothing going on, like I am unworried but waiting for him. Often, but not always, he will step ahead after considering things a for a bit- When he begins walking, THEN i treat him to reinofrce that he's glad he did. He is super cautious, he cant just hustle past a scent, or a go on despite a sound. He takes time., Hana might be that way, too? Sometimes he decided that the coyote scent is too strong and that the coyotes mean "STAY OUT!" so we go home, and play ball on the stairs or tug o war, or FIND IT instead of a walk.
Sage is also space-sensitive. We used to walk right next to each other on the side of the road, which is safe and sensible. I have found that giving him more time and space- walking down the middle of our dirt road, he will walk farther. Butits not a miracle, it just makes him feel less pressure. If I have Jeff walking Reilly (our oldest, biggest very confident dog) and me with Sage, he will walk the farthest and with the least worry and balking- but there is still a point he wont go past no matter what, and it is only about 1/2 mile from our house. The other dogs could hike for hours. Sage is Sage, and what is true for him just IS, and there are other dogs like him.
re: calming collar- I used a Good Behavior clmaing collar with Sage for a trip we took in the car, and it seemed to help him noticeably with the stress. It wont stop a panic if the shit actually hits the fan, but it seemed to take the base stress level starting point down to a comfortable level. He also has a Thundershirt, which sometimes seems helpful, sometimes probably not makign a difference, but certainly not harming.
We also bought the Thunder Shirt and it worked pretty well! We'd put it on her when she was stress and pacing. As soon as it on was she'd lay down and sleep. I've also put it on my parents dog who freaks out when it's storming and she calmed down quite a bit. The only down side is that Goro likes to play tug-o-war with it while it's on ChoCho...
You do have to be pretty comfortable with putting things on the dog though... since you have to stretch the material and wrap it around them tightly.
The Thunder shirt was freaking magic for us. I know it doesn't work on every dog but it worked for us.
Also I will probably buy a calming collar for her for our walks and see if that helps.
@sjp051993 yeah I think I'll try to see if I can arrange a walk with her with a neighbour dog or something. I know she's interested in meeting a dog friend, but it freaks her out when they are little moving forms far away. But a friend dog will probably help.
@Wrylybrindle The problem isn't letting her do her own thing when we first walk, like I'm totally okay with her doing her own thing, and since she started pulling, I started to let her do her own thing. The problem is she never wants to walk back towards home. I don't want to force her in a direction she doesn't want to go, but if its towards home that she refuses to go, that's a little different. She glances at me sometimes and I feel like she's surprised I'm there. I'll drop her treats or let her walk back to me and she takes it from my hand, but she will immediately go back to that "wild" state where she wants to do her own thing and refuses to go home. How far do I let her do her own thing before I have to pick her up and walk back home? Happy talks, pets, treats, nothing seems to entice her to go back home.
Once she's home tho, she relaxes, hangs out, wags her tail at me... It's so strange.