Last days: Memorial pics.
**decided to change this thread/title since my boy now has the diagnosis, bone cancer, and I'm struggling making his last days good ones.
So my GSD is 11, and has some serious arthritis in his spine (which looks crooked in x-rays) and hips. Some dysplasia too. And now for about a 2 months has had real problems with one rear leg--can't put weight on it, carries it a lot. Took him to the vet, and there are no tumors, no fractures, nothing that shows up on x-rays other than a rough place that might tug at the ligament some. The treatments we've tried haven't helped at all, though at least he doesn't seem to be in pain--or any more than usual (and he has been taking meds for arthritis, both inflamation and pain for a couple of years).
He's not ready to go yet, but its clearly coming (I'm hoping he'll at least have the summer, and maybe the fall). In the past week, he went downhill more, and is now having trouble getting up. I know that I can help up him get up for awhile--I've seen people with elderly dogs do the towel trick (putting it under them to help them get up), and I'm quite willing to do this for my poor old boy, as long as he's not miserable, and he doesn't seem to be. He's eating just fine, and does try to go about his normal routine.
Anyway, I realized I have no idea how to handle what is inevitably coming. I've seen my mother keep dogs alive much longer than was kind....one of our dogs was dragging her hindquarters, couldn't control her bowels, and was so clearly miserable and my mother still wouldn't euthanize her...
I've never had to do this myself....My akita died quite young of liver cancer....or rather we put her down when she was unable to eat anymore and was simply miserable. that was a clear case. My best friend had to put her Golden down about 4 years ago, but again, a clear case...she was 13, couldn't eat anymore either without vomiting and was getting so painfully thin, and the vet said there's nothing we can do...
So I wondered, how have other people handled this? I know it's a very individual thing...depends on the person and the dog, but I'd appreciate hearing anyone's thoughts/experiences. I want my boy to have a good life as long as possible, but I also want him to have a good death, and I don't want him to suffer unnecessarily.
So my GSD is 11, and has some serious arthritis in his spine (which looks crooked in x-rays) and hips. Some dysplasia too. And now for about a 2 months has had real problems with one rear leg--can't put weight on it, carries it a lot. Took him to the vet, and there are no tumors, no fractures, nothing that shows up on x-rays other than a rough place that might tug at the ligament some. The treatments we've tried haven't helped at all, though at least he doesn't seem to be in pain--or any more than usual (and he has been taking meds for arthritis, both inflamation and pain for a couple of years).
He's not ready to go yet, but its clearly coming (I'm hoping he'll at least have the summer, and maybe the fall). In the past week, he went downhill more, and is now having trouble getting up. I know that I can help up him get up for awhile--I've seen people with elderly dogs do the towel trick (putting it under them to help them get up), and I'm quite willing to do this for my poor old boy, as long as he's not miserable, and he doesn't seem to be. He's eating just fine, and does try to go about his normal routine.
Anyway, I realized I have no idea how to handle what is inevitably coming. I've seen my mother keep dogs alive much longer than was kind....one of our dogs was dragging her hindquarters, couldn't control her bowels, and was so clearly miserable and my mother still wouldn't euthanize her...
I've never had to do this myself....My akita died quite young of liver cancer....or rather we put her down when she was unable to eat anymore and was simply miserable. that was a clear case. My best friend had to put her Golden down about 4 years ago, but again, a clear case...she was 13, couldn't eat anymore either without vomiting and was getting so painfully thin, and the vet said there's nothing we can do...
So I wondered, how have other people handled this? I know it's a very individual thing...depends on the person and the dog, but I'd appreciate hearing anyone's thoughts/experiences. I want my boy to have a good life as long as possible, but I also want him to have a good death, and I don't want him to suffer unnecessarily.
Comments
But I gauge the choice by, is the animal able to enjoy parts of their life still? When your dog is in pain all the time, and has nothing they get excited about, it is time.
I have a 20 year old cat. He is lumpy with tumors, doesn't clean himself, and frankly is gross. But he purrs ALL the time. He still plays. He still has some life in that stinky old body. So he continues on until that changes.
After the second one, though, it was really clear. He didn't want to move, eat, drink, or interact with anyone. The morning he was put to sleep, I found him just laying there, eyes glazed over, totally listless. I knew he was ready to go. It was really hard to accept, but I knew that keeping him alive really would have been selfish and unkind.
The vet confirmed that he wasn't going to get better, so we had him put to sleep. So, I agree with Jess in that you'll know. The vet can give you their professional opinion, but as your dog's close friend and family member, you just need to make sure you're staying in tune with your dog and thinking of their comfort.
After consulting a family member who works as a vet, the best thing I could do for Anne and woody was to take their pain away by puting them down. That was the hardest thing I have ever had to do but being there with my dogs and holding them while they were being euthanized was the best thing I could have done for them.
I know one day I may have to do the same with Riki, Hana, and Taro but its just part of life. The best thing you can do is to make their last days as confortable and stress free as possible.
I would totally agree with that. I make a deal with my dogs that above all else, I will not wait to the last minute until we are faced with an emergency dash in the middle of the night because my dog can't breathe. Sometimes you'll know, when the dog checks out, but sometimes you just have to make the decision for them. My Irish Water Spaniel developed lymphosarcoma, and when we'd tried a series of treatments and his lymph nodes kept swelling back up and he was starting to have a little difficulty eating and swallowing, I knew his windpipe would be next within a day or two. I would not let it go that far. We had one more short walk in the park and at the vet's office I had my arms around him. He was still eating doggy cookies to the end.
Our dogs give us too much to let them suffer.
After I posted this, I got a call from my mother, and she told me her old girl (14 year old malamute mix) is failing. She can only walk a few steps before she stops to rest, and she falls a lot. Worse, she's gone from 90 pounds to 65. My mother said she won't eat at all on her own, though she manages to force down a few tablespoons of meat a day. I told her it was time, but I suspect she's going to keep this poor dog going...It's an argument we've had before about not letting a dog go on and on in pain, but she doesn't listen. Ugh. I can only hope my mother either comes to her senses, or the poor girl passes on her own soon. I wish she wouldn't let this good old dog suffer.
for now, I'm going to try to pay even more attention to my old boy, and try to keep him comfortable in the time he's got.
I'm sorry that your mom is going through this. All of us have either been there or will be...
I fall into the better-too-early camp myself. Dogs don't have the ability to think about how they might get better. They just know that they feel like crap today. This is why veterinary oncologists don't hit dogs very hard with chemotherapies. It's not fair or ethical. You can tell a person with cancer - Hey we're going to blast you with every treatment modality we've got to get a handle on this thing. You are going to feel miserable for three months but we might be able to CURE you, and a person can understand. A dog doesn't have that sort of reasoning.
Some things that I have told pet owners in the past:
Make a list of all the things your dog enjoys on one side of a paper. On the other half, list all the things that he/she can STILL DO.
Devise a small symbol for "good day" and a small symbol for "bad day". Record these on a calendar. At the end of the month, see if there are more "good days" than "bad days". If not, perhaps it's time.
Sarah,
I was talking to my friends last night about this, morbid yes I know! But I said that I didn't have the priviledge to be there the day Koda was born, but I will be there the day he dies. That's what owning a dog is all about, a lifetime commitment.
Chrystal,
I didn't know that Malamutes don't take well to the shot. I learn something everyday.
When I put Bear down, we spent about a half an hour to forty five minutes in the vet's office lying together. I remember my vet coming in, and I said to Bear that he could just go to sleep and I would be ok. He sighed this big sigh, and my vet told me that that was Bear saying that he was ready to go too. Even thinking about it makes me cry, but I am so glad that he went peacefully and in my arms.
Remember...no one living being ever really dies, eventually we all get recycled back into the Earth. Our bodies might be gone but our spirits continue to live on.
he's gots lots of painkillers now, and I'll give him lots of treats and rides (while he can still enjoy them). He just got a half of steak that was going to be my lunch
He's a good dog, and I want him to have a good death too.
Thanks for your thoughts, everyone. It has helped prepare for what I sensed was coming rather quickly.
Everyone says it is fast, and I think it is. This morning he fell in the yard and couldn't get up, and cried and cried. I was so so scared that he'd fractured the leg, but I don't think he has. We got him in--after a few moments he could walk again, and I think it was both surprise and pain that kept him down for a moment. Gave him one more pain pill than usual, and now he's crashed out in the sun, watching the household activities, but not in pain right now, I don't think.
I'm not going to let him go too long, esp. if he's falling a lot, but he still has mostly good days, so I'm also not willing to let him go too soon.
If anyone has tips/thoughts on what you did in the last days with your dogs, I'd love to hear them.
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I've been avoiding this thread because my first two dogs ever are both still very young and, to be completely honest, I'm not emotionally prepared to confront this topic head on. With all of Lucy's health problems and the emotional roller coaster associated with them the thought has crossed my mind. Every time I start to think that I may need to think seriously about it, Lucy turns the corner and gets better. Maybe it's a good thing that I've avoided having to deal with it, maybe not.
Or that's how he was up to last week. I was gone for four days, and when I came home, the change was evident. He didn't get up to greet me. Mostly he chooses one place to lay and just stays there. He looks really tired. He's still eating with enthusiasm, but when I look into his eyes, I mostly see simple exhaustion.
I've wanted him to make it to his 11th birthday, May 18, and thought he would make it, but it's just a date, and I need to think about what's best for him. I don't think he's quite ready to go, but I also think we're very close. Now I'm just trying to look at dates my vet is in town, because I don't want to take him to a new vet at a time like this. He has an appt. Friday, and I think Friday is too soon, but then they're out of town til the 11th and I worry that will be late for him...guess I'll see what they say.
It's great that you are keeping him comfortable and considering his needs in all of this. Please keep us updated.
I'm glad that you are doing the very best that you can for him. And it's great that he gets to continue to spend his remaining time with you and you with him. All the the best to you and Mr. Kai. May he continue to relax now and later rest in comfort.
Don't forget to get a special photo of you and Kai together!
Kai's 11th birthday was Tues and he was great! He was walking around, limping, but still putting weight on the leg that the cancer is in. He was lively, and hungry as always, and my best friend came up and brought him a 1/4 lb of hamburger which he got for his birthday dinner (I even put a candle in it, though I blew it out for him
She asked me how many x-rays I wanted. I said if there wasn't a difference in how we'd treat him, it probably didn't matter one way or the other if we had a clear diagnosis or not, and she said we would continue the same course of treatment, regardless, so I said let's skip more xrays then.
Today, Kai is vomiting and won't eat. He also kept falling down, and then he'd lay down and stay wherever he fell. I took him to the vet this afternoon and his temp was 106! (Thank god they were there and I could bring him in!) They had to put him in an icewater bath. We got his temp down to 103 (where it is now) but he still won't eat. They wanted to keep him overnight, but since no one will be there with him anyway, I insisted on bringing him home.
They think this might be unrelated. I don't. I'm not a vet, obviously, and honestly, not even that well-versed in canine health in general, but my overall feeling is this not just "something he ate" or a random fever, but that somehow this is connected. His cancer is atypical, so it's really hard to pin down, and I'm torn between trying to get a firm diagnosis--more x-rays! Blood tests!--and then thinking, this dog is dying anyway--does it really matter that I know exactly what is going on?
I know I could take him to another vet who might be able to pinpoint this better or see the big picture, but I also think it may not matter. I don't think he's going to get better in the long run, and I don't think that spending more money will make him more comfortable. He may come out of this fever, but even if he does, his time is limited and I know that, so I'm just trying to make decisions based on his comfort.
My poor old boy...
I'm glad he felt a bit better on his birthday and sorry he is not doing very well now.
I can't offer much help I guess I've been through this with three dogs before and it's not easy I know how you might feel.
Or you were spending thousands of dollars that your family of three small kids couldn't afford, that kind of thing.
Still, I think Tara's statement about doing it sooner rather than later is a good principle to follow. Since I wrote about my Irish Water Spaniel further up this thread, I had to put my almost 14-year old blind Malinois down, one month before his birthday. Yes, I would have liked for him to make it to then. But I made the same promise to him that I make to all my dogs: I won't let them suffer and will NOT wait until I have to make the panic-stricken trip to the vet in the middle of the night because my dog can't breathe, because I waited too long.
Jesse Malinois was in a motel room with me two nights before. We went to an agility trial and everybody stopped by his xpen to say hello. He was eating and drinking and had full control, just was very reluctant to walk far or fast anymore. Plus he passed out a couple of times, which I learned later were mini-seizures. Took him to the vet first thing Monday morning and he called me in a couple of hours later. They found a mass on his spleen, his lungs were filling up with fluid and he was having more frequent mini-seizures suggesting a fast-moving cancer that had invaded his brain too. By the time they brought him to me his breathing was labored -- I wanted to take him home for maybe a couple more days but I just knew I couldn't, in that condition. The vet suggested he might have a few more days at the most and there was a real danger of a ruptured spleen, which would have been real nasty.
So the vet brought in a couple of blankets and we sat on the floor. I fed him cookies, he licked the vet's chin (who he hated when he was sighted), I put my arms around him and held him close and told him what a great dog he had been. The vet was holding back tears -- he'd treated him for various things since he was 2yrs old. He gave him a shot of valium or some sort of sedative first, and then the shot that stopped his heart. Very peaceful and uneventful, he just went to sleep.
Now here's the point I'm trying to make. I feel GOOD about how he lived his long life, and how he died. I feel GOOD that he went peacefully, in not much pain, before his condition deteriorated -- he'd even eaten breakfast that morning. I feel GOOD that his last waking moments were with me, with my arms surrounding him, my voice near him -- I couldn't have done it any better for HIM. I have absolutely no regrets, no nagging feeling that maybe I waited too long. This made a huge difference in how I felt in the following days. I missed him terribly, but I could smile to myself that I know I did the right thing, for him. He was at peace, and I am at peace.
Thank you to everyone who has been so kind about Kai.
Kai crossed over the bridge at about 8pm tonight. He was so sick yesterday and last night, but we did get his fever down. My vet wanted him in this morning...they thought he was getting better. I didn't, but at first I simply listened, because they are the vets. Then I realized I needed to go with what I felt, so I called back and told them that if he was going to continue like this, I thought we should put him down. They said let us have him this afternoon and we'll see what we can do.
When I went to pick him up at 1 (when they closed) he seemed somewhat more lively. He was eating. He ate some chicken and some ice cream, but I was also aware that he couldn't stand too long, and where ever he fell, he'd stay there. He was panting like a dog in pain. They wanted me to bring him back around 7 or 8 for more antibiotics. By that time, at home, he couldn't stand. If we helped him up, he could walk, but he couldn't get up. When they saw him, and when they saw his fever was back, they said they could try more x-rays and an IV, but I said I think we all know he's not going to get better. When they said do you think it is time to send him on, he suddenly sat up and wagged his tail, as if he was saying, ok, let's go. So my husband and I spent some time with him, and they came back to bring him back to the exam room where we were going to send him off. His last looks were like it is for so many of us with a beloved dog who is in pain--he just seemed tired, and relieved, and looked into my eyes and gave a couple last thumps of his tail.
My vets took it hard. They are a husband/wife team, and the wife has mostly treated Kai, but the husband had been the one who had insisted we try different things in these last couple of days. He was teary, and he apologized for keeping Kai here when he probably should have gone, but as I told him, how could he know? He's a doctor--his role is to try to save lives. I am grateful I got this afternoon with Kai, when his fever broke and he was hungry, and he was watching me, and was happy to have some ice cream, even though I knew he wasn't going to get better, and this was simply a window of being in less pain. What really upset me was the vet said, you know, we work so hard, but in the end, we always lose the dogs. I said but you give so much to them in between! We're all going to die--what matters is that you ease so much suffering in the meantime! And these are the people who saved the life of my male Shiba when he was surely going to die--the people who came in on their days off to treat him for weeks on end, knowing full well I would have to pay them back slowly. This is why I keep going back to them. They are not high tech. They can't always do the kind of things other vets can. But they have been so dedicated and worked so hard for my dogs and so many others. But there is no question to how dedicated they are to the animals in their care.
And my Kai went peacefully. He's out of pain. It made a huge difference for me to read about people's experiences here. One thing that really stuck with me is to let him go two days earlier rather than two days too late. I think he was just right, but if I had waited til Monday or next week, it would have been too much suffering for him. He was very very sick, but he had a window of lucidity and happiness, and he was easy in his death.
(And the Shibas: comedy and sorrow: my girl shiba clearly knew something was up--she wanted to be by Kai the past couple of days (he's her bud), but I she was a bit too excited in her constant licking of him, so I separated them, and now, she is running running running like a crazy dog, eyes blank, panting, and while I know she couldn't know he's dead, she knows he was sick, and she knows he's not here. The male? He hasn't noticed anything. But this morning,when I was trying to force feed Kai, with some liverwurst, Toby snatched the liverwurst off the counter and swallowed about 1/4 pound of it, plastic wrapper and all. I was quite worried because it was A LOT of plastic. Vet said you've got to make him vomit--it is too large for a dog of his size to pass. So 20 ccs of hydrogen peroxide went down his throat and up came the liverwurst, plastic wrapper and all. He's fine. But damn, I didn't want to have a dying dog, a crazy dog, and a dog with a bowel obstruction all in one day).
As for Kai, he was a good good dog. I'm not usually a sentimental person, but the Rainbow bridge story has been a great comfort to me, and I like to think my boy has his health back, and can run now and play. And I also like to think I will see him again someday, in some other time and some other form. Run my boy, run.
run free kai
rachel