I'm feeling like I can't handle this
This week has been really challenging for me. There have been many times when I felt that dogs and I don't mix and I shouldn't have gone along with the plan of getting a puppy and a kitten at the same time, or a puppy at all.
Kuma is giving us problems e.g. peeing everywhere - we have actually experienced a regression to what it was like in the first days he was with us. He's actually peeing and walking at the same time which means easily a 1m stretch of pee across one or 2 rooms.
Other problems include his obsession with Nyx's litter. This had been going on for ages but today I caught him with his head inside the litter box and his mouth full of silica. Correcting him and distracting him hasn't worked yet, he does it when we're not looking - which isn't often. I tired to work out how to put the litter box higher, but Nyx hates to jump up - and I'm not going to ruin our solid wood doors with a cat flap.
When I'm on my own with them, for short periods between lessons (I'm a freelance TEFL teacher) I spend most of the time cleaning after Kuma - the thing is, as soon as I finish he pees somewhere again! I kinda suspect it might have something to do with the pen Rui set up for him.
This might all sound banal to you guys but as most of you know, I have always liked and preferred cats. Even though I love Kuma, I have to admit I'm not happy with the living situation. Don't get me wrong, I don't blame Kuma, I just think I'm doing everything wrong because I am never sure if I'm dealing with him the right way.
Goodness knows how many times I've cried this week either out of desperation or tiredness. I've had a lot going on the past few weeks besides the 'kids'. To make matters worse I felt Nyx was feeling neglected because she got a bit aggressive with me. After all was done I was too tired to play with her this week. Kuma and Nyx handle each other pretty well though, except when they get a bit
too excited and I end up in the middle of the claws and fangs.
Rui's getting a trainer on Monday and wants me to come home early from work. I just hope it'll be worth the time and money to get her. I'm very disheartened at this point.
Comments
How old is Kuma. Walking while peeing would indicate to me a possible kidney problem, rather than a discipline problem Have you spoke to the Vet? If so, maybe confining him to smaller spaces might help
I have never met a dog who did not like the cat box. I could only suggest that the box be housed where Nyx can get to it and Kuma cannot, i.e., a small cat door or gate or the like.
Why did you get Kuma? It is Rui's dog? Is he walking him regularly?
You don't need to ruin a door to be able to keep Kuma out. Attach an eyehole screw on the inside of the doorway (the side of the room the litterbox is in), and tie a rope to it. On the other end of the rope, tie a loop that fits easily on and off the door knob. Make sure the rope only allows the door to be open enough for Nyx to get in, but not Kuma. As an Akita, he is growing fast and soon enough it shouldn't be to hard for her to get through and not him.
Other than that, it seems like you should really be there when the trainer is there. You are not confident in your dog handling skills and working with a trainer can help you gain those abilities that you will need as Kuma grows. As for the peeing, it seems that you guys really need to teach him how to let you know when he has to go out. For now I would wear him tethered to you with a leash everywhere you go. If he starts to lift a leg, or go pee, stop him and get him outside. It will take some time and practice, he is still so young.
Lastly, take a deep breath and relax. I can't say my wife was completely ready for a dog when we got one, but we worked through it together and now she loves Nemo as much as I do. You guys made a big life change by bringing in two young animals at the same time, big changes take time and dedication to adjust too. Soon enough the good times will start to outweigh the bad.
Scarlet: Kuma will be 3 months old this Sunday. He doesn't lift his leg yet and doesn't make it very obvious to us when he needs to pee. Pooping is no problem he got that down pretty quickly - always on the newspaper. The pee either far away, off or at the edge of the newspaper.
Kuma was Rui's dream - he's the dog person. I have always had cats so we compromised by getting both young at the same time so they could grow up together and co-exist.
Rina: Thank you for the huggies. I feel at a disadvantage somehow - I'm not a kid person, and dogs are the closest thing to them in my mind! Even after having Kuma for a month, I still feel pretty 'green', can't adapt.
Brandon: That rope idea I'd definitely consider. As I said to Scralet, he doesn't lift his leg yet. He pees when he gets excited too. I agree with you that I need to gain confidence with him - I feel like I'm either not assertive enough or else get frustrated with him and make him edgier. I wasn't ready for the dog at all. I thought Rui would be enough to guide me through this since he's a dog encyclopedia. Turns out that we're going on a hit and miss approach sometimes, or at least that what it feels like. I think I worried too much about his size rather than his behaviour. The cold he had when he first arrived meant that we had to redo the vaccinations so we haven't been able to take him out as much as we wanted. Hopefully this will change soon after the 26th when his last shots are due.
Thanks to all of you for such rapid answers!
Phoenix -
When I first got Kenji (my male Kai-Ken) I thought he would be potty trained in 2 weeks, because with Keira, she was so easy to potty train. Well I was wrong. He had problems up until 8-9 months. He still doesnt lift his leg either. Male dogs are very hard to potty train so that is totally normal. He has also walked and peed a few times. You just need to watch how much water he takes in and then know about every half hour hes going to need to go again. Until this day I still take away his water dish becuse he drinks so much. If he could he would drink every half hour. I would just give it time. When he pees outside, reward him. when he pees inside just say no or bad and get a pattern going, but make sure not to scold him. There are alot of places that have free potty training seminars that you can talk to a trainer about and they can give you tips or tell you what may be going wrong.
As far as the kitty litter goes, I am with you on that one. Keira started eating it, and then Kenji watched her and now does the same thing. I would suggest getting a self cleaning litter box or one that closes. You could even get this stuff that looks like Arm and Hammer baking soda in the kitty isle that you sprinkle in to elliminate the strong odor. I know that as soon as one of our cats goes, they are right in there because they can smell it. You could also spray bitter apple around the litter box so he wont want to be near it. Dont worry, he will get over it im sure. I will just take time and repetition.
Hang in there!
I often felt the same way when we first got Kiba....he did the pee and walk thing too. I think Kiba would do it b/c we would get tense when he started peeing and start yelling "NO" so then he started peeing and walking around. We used up so much Nature's Miracle, that we ended up just putting it in the steam cleaner to clean our carpets. He would scream all day long and our neighbors would let us know that they could hear it. I also had a lot of anxiety b/c i felt like we were neglecting our other dog, Shinobi and they hated each other. But now, 3.5 months later, he stopped the screaming can hold his pee almost all day. We are still working on the Kiba and Shinobi relationship, but it's definitely improved. Don't worry...it gets better! You, Nyx, and Kuma just need to give yourself time to adjust to the changes...and this time will fly by. I agree with Romi and using the crate if it works for Kuma. Kiba peed in his crate every time we crated him, so now he stays in the kitchen with a gate. It seems to work better.
Anyway, i feel you on this...but really...it will get better!
oh yah...with the pee thing - you can monitor his water intake also. Puppies drink a lot of water, but might not need all of it. Also try to put him on a schedule...20 minutes after he eats or drinks, take him out to potty and don't come back in until he does. Give him lots of praise each time with a treat too...so he'll associate outside and treat with potty time. That seemed to work with Kiba.
Thank you for the support, guys!
Kuma is still a very young puppy, so I know we have kind of a long way to go. We're still getting to know him and he's getting to know us. Sometimes it is easier than others, sometimes it's despairing, other's it's a joy. Hopefully, and as soon as his last vaccines take effect he'll start to go out more often and longer. I take him out 3 times a day, normally. Right after we wake up, when I get home, and closer to bedtime. The last 3 days we had heavy rain and strong wind, so this schedule has been somewhat altered.
Hopefully the trainer/behaviourist might help us help Kuma understand us better, and us him of course.
Thank you everyone for your advice.
I am hopeful about the trainer appointment.
We've just tried the rope thing using Kuma's leash but we'll have to get something with less give in it.
It is Rui's choice whether or not to get the crate. What you guys said makes absolute sense though. We should have done that.
Dave: He sniffs around when he's going to poop but I haven't picked up on any consistent signs when he wants to pee. It literally can happen at any time, except when he's sleeping!!
After your comments I remembered having read that you shouldn't give your dog water after a certain time in the evening. How do you guys deal with giving water? If we're meant to have 2litres, how much should a 10+kg pup have everyday? I feel that we give him too much and he has water available 24/7.
Also, he poops when we're at home and go in other rooms and close the doors leaving him in the entrance (his room) - e.g. to have a shower and when he sees us sit at the dining table to eat - no matter what time that is, because I have a crazy schedule and pretty much eat when I can. Has anyone had similar problems? I guess crating again could be the answer, right? When Rui's here, on weekday evenings, I eat when he takes him out or right after he's been out.
Hugs!
the litter box thing, when i fostered two cats with a very curious shiba pup here - we got a litter box with a lid enclosure faced the entrance to the litter box very close to the wall, giving only enough room for the cat to sneak in and not the dog - it worked. we actually had a 'cat station' where it was like an open, thick shelving unit, the litter box on the bottom very near the wall, then the cat food & water was on a higher shelf that the shiba could never ever reach.
the pee thing, have you considered bell training Kuma? You put a hanging bell on the door you go out to pee most and i would touch it, or touch my dogs nose with the bell and make a big deal about it, even giving them a treat when I rang it - then going outside right after ringing the bell. One day Tsuki just hit it with her nose, whether she meant to or not, we made a deal, praised her, took her outside, and its been that way ever since.
I agree with crating Kuma. He won't like it and he will probably fuss because he is not used to being so confined however, this will help with his "outings" and he will be much happier with a schedule and learning what you expect of him. He is a darling boy and he wants to please you so hang in there. He is only a 3 month old puppy and he is learning every minute of the day.
I remember you were saying in another discussion that you weren't really taking Kuma outside to go to the bathroom, and kind of encouraging the indoor pads b/c of the vet and vaccinations. Tag was my 1st puppy, and I was paranoid about the parvo thing (probably the reason your vet said to keep Kuma protected), so until he was 5 months (shot at 4 months, 1 month to take effect) I didn't really take him out, kept him away from other dogs, etc...well, he could definitely have used more socialization. As a border collie, he's def more laid-back anyway - he just tends to be skittish with new people. This is not a luxury people with Japanese dogs tend to have - early and frequent socialization is essential. I learned that you have to balance the precautions you take for the health of the puppy, with the vital tasks of socialization (and this isn't just other people and dogs, it's new situations, things, everything). The first 4 months of a puppy's life are it's most open and impressionable - after 5 months, they tend to enter their fearful phase, just like kids can. What you need to watch for is where you take the puppy. Outside is fine - necessary, as much as possible. Keep away from areas where lots of dogs eliminate - outside vets offices, some areas of parks, etc. Walking through a neighborhood, through town, around people is fine. Puppies can get parvo from the feces of a dog carrying it...and it can stay viable for a long time outside. So, this is where the risk lies...it is possible that it could be anywhere outside, but it is much more likely where people do not tend to pick up after their dogs (or, like a vets office, where there is a tendency to have more sick dogs). I'm not sure how it is there, with people vaccinating their dogs and stuff, but allowing Kuma to socialize with healthy (usually properly vaccinated dogs) is vital for his adult behavior.
I don't think 3 times a day to go outside is enough for a 3 month old puppy - as a necessity, fine, but ideally more often. When you are away from home all day, and the puppy is sleeping, 3 times can work b/c they're sleeping most of the time, and they can hold it. But when you are home, and the puppy is active, sleeping, getting up, etc, they are going to have to go more often. The water monitoring is very helpful...both male dogs I've raised from puppies have taken a while to stop the pee and walk thing - they'd play, get excited, not realize what's going on, and leave a trail all over the place. So, picking up the water helps. Also, every time the puppy wakes up, gets up from laying down for a while, has been playing for a while, eats, drinks a lot (give some time for this)...it's a good probability Kuma will have to at the least, pee.
While you allow him to eliminate in the house, it is going to be difficult to train him not to do it. It takes a while for dogs to make the distinction between hold it, and we're going to be gone long enough, just go inside. All he knows is it's ok to go inside. So, just try to get him out (as I mentioned above) at key times. It's kind of a hassle, but not having to clean up all the time is a benefit, plus hopefully getting house trained sooner.
PS I agree - crates are great for training.
I dunno that I can add much to this, I am a bit late... but I just want to say hang in there! It passes. The good news is boys house train faster, the bad news is when they pee in the house it tends to go everywhere.
Hilo had some issues holding his bladder too, he would get excited and just pee everywhere! He eventually grew out of it, I want to say he was not peeing in the house anymore around 4.5 months or so.
At least it's not submissive pee like you see in females, Loa still does this. Every time I pet her she pees, yesterday she did in on my shoe! She's 6+ months old now!!!
Pheonix -
I was browsing Petsmart's website, and I came across a really cool kitty litter, that I might even get for myself! The entry way is from the top, and a dog cant get in there, and if they try they will get their head stuck! LOL
http://www.petsmart.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2754439
Hi guys it's Natasha using Rui's pc because it seems mine just died.
There have already been some changes about the litter problem.
The daytime place of Nyx's litter box is between the fridge and the wall in the kitchen. We decided to turn the box (it is a covered box, btw) with the door facing the wall. There's just enough room for her to walk through to the back. To make sure that Kuma can't push the box back when she's in and risk trapping her inside, I took a small, ruined bathroom carpet and cut in in half. It's got a rubber backing and the top has a good enough pile to keep the litter from flying all over as she comes out.
We're using the other half of the carpet in the bedroom, since she sleeps with us at night.
She's already taken to the change, thankfully, and I've cleaned the floors so there's no litter anywhere. I just hope Kuma won't outsmart us!
Thanks to everyone for all your encouragement and advice.
Hugs,
Natasha
I have greeeat news! As I told you on Kuma's thread we went out this evening to have Nat's laptop checked. We were out for 2 hours or so. As we were coming back, we were talking about we'd have to clean up after Kuma, since he was alone. We got home and NO ACCIDENTS!!! We ran outside with him, and did this huge, huge pee. The little guy managed to hold it for two hours! Normally he has these "spite" pees as soon as we leave him alone.
I was amazed at him. Nat came along for the walk and walked him for most of the way and he peed yet another time. The we came back so he could have dinner, went back down after a bit and he peed again.
From Natasha
So, just to add a bit to what Rui's said, we've decided that tomorrow morning, since I'll be home, I'll take him out twice before leaving. Up to now, I hadn't really gone with Rui and Kuma on their walks. I always took advantage of the emptier house to play with Nyx or just spend some girl time with her or clean! I will have to sacrifice some of that I guess - until things settle and Kuma's able to control himself more.
I don't expect I'll become a dog person at any point- but I'll be a substitute for Rui when he's away. I will always prefer staying with my pretty kittie than scooping poop.
Anyway, it's nice not to have the house reeking of his pee and poop and I'm much more positive about things today!
YAY for both of you!! Im glad things were bright today. And you got him a great treat for bing such a good boy.
Natasha-I never thought I was a dog person but they infiltrate your lives and most of all your heart!
I can definitely relate to Natasha. I was a one animal person...and that animal was CAT. But then Paul went and signed a contract with Katja without telling me