You Know You've Been Doing Rescue Too Long When....

RyuRyu
edited February 2009 in Rescue
(from my meetup group)

YOU KNOW YOU'VE BEEN DOING RESCUE TOO LONG WHEN:


You have a mental list of people you'd like to spay or neuter.


You stopped at a house with a "Free Puppies" sign in the yard to

have an Educational "Chat," and your kids had to post your bail.


Running out of paper towels is a household crisis.


You not only know all the characteristics of a good "stool," you discuss them at

dinner.


Your checks have messages on them like "Subtract Two Testicles For

Every Four Feet."


You have a bumper sticker that reads "My Golden Retriever Is

Smarter Than Your Graduate Student."


You secretly wonder about such things as how animals can manage

without wiping.


You pray they will someday manufacture Teflon furniture.


You have phone calls forwarded to PetsMart.


You absentmindedly pat people on the head or scratch them behind

their ears. (**I do this to Tim all the time!**)


Given the choice of having your teeth cleaned or their teeth

cleaned, they get their teeth cleaned.


You not only allow pets on the couch, guests have to sit on the

floor because the dog has "territorial issues."


Your spouse missed the final game of the World Series because the

cat wanted to watch his favorite video, "Birds of North America."


Anytime the animal appears lethargic, you go on-line and

investigate vetmed websites, pose questions to your address book and

on e-lists, and by the time you digest all the information and field

the correspondence, the animal has torn out the window screens,

masticated a couch cushion and left something disgusting in your

favorite pair of shoes.


Your chatroom handle is "Queen of Spayeds."


You and your vet are on a first name basis and he genuflects when

you enter the waiting room. His daughter at Harvard refers to you

as "Auntie."


You needed a prescription to recover from "Old Yeller."


You've forwarded more warnings about the dangers of chocolate,

onions and mistletoe than the National Center for Disease Control has

issued about anthrax and smallpox.


You wear white year 'round, not because you are flaunting a

fashion law or belong to a religious sect but because you have a

Dalmatian, Great Pyrenees, Samoyed or white Persian at home.


The world would never guess from your "dog or kittyspeak" posts to

e-lists that in reality you are chairman of the IBM corporation.


By the time you investigate different flea control products, their

advantages and potential risks, natural versus chemical methods, and

study the life cycle of the flea, any fleas have died of old age.


You tell your children to "heel!" in a grocery store.


For relaxation, you went mall hopping with your girlfriends. Your

eyes glazed over when you saw a sign in front of a pet shop, "20% Off

All Puppies & Kittens," and you slapped three security guards before

they got you safely contained in the manager's office.


People are still talking about your spay-neuter holiday greeting

from last year, "Deck the Halls with Balls of Collies. "

Comments

  • edited November -1
    LOL at the last one!
  • edited November -1
    I relate to this a little too well.

    I will take comfort in knowing that here, I cannot be the only one.
  • edited November -1
    LOL! That was hilarious!
  • edited November -1
    I died when I read the last one... Too funny.

    As for patting on the head and scratching behind the ears, does it also count if I scratch my husband under the chin???
  • edited November -1
    Those are all erily familar behaviors, but realy, hats off to all the folks here that are dedicated to rescue. I have patted my (human) patients on the head before, not on purpose, but as a reflex. I have also told a patient or two who was demented/obstinate/drunk "Go potty!" or "Do you need to potty?", and then I correct myself immediatly, but thankfully, they have all been too out of it to notice. I have said "Bah" and "Knock it off" as a reflex to some of the really nasty ones, too.
  • edited November -1
    Priceless. :))
    Especially the paper towel and teflon furniture ones! lol!
  • edited November -1
    I can certainly relate to those. Particularly poop being a topic of concern... (LOL)

    Snf
  • edited February 2009
    it all sounds so familiar, am sure able to relate to this.
    esp abt the paper towels, and going online to look up info whenever they look lethargic...
    i also have a habit of saying "good job!" in an over-the-top happy voice when my students(i teach english in japan) do something right. :/
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