Responsibility After Death
I know we talked about this before on the forum but 1. I can't find the thread to save my life and 2. I'd like some input from the new members.
Well now that we have a little one, a need for a will for Errik and I is a lot more important than when it was just us. We got to figure out who we want to take Micah in case both Errik and I check out.
That brings me to a problem I had in the old thread and I have still...who will the animals go to? The only possible scenario we have is if we don't die until my little brothers are of age and living independently from their parents. I know they wouldn't hesitate if they were able to. If we die before they reach legal age or before they move out of their parents' house, the animals will have no where to go but the shelter.
Do you think it's irresponsible for us to have animals and/or add animals into the family without a backup plan? Where would your animals go if you passed away?
Well now that we have a little one, a need for a will for Errik and I is a lot more important than when it was just us. We got to figure out who we want to take Micah in case both Errik and I check out.
That brings me to a problem I had in the old thread and I have still...who will the animals go to? The only possible scenario we have is if we don't die until my little brothers are of age and living independently from their parents. I know they wouldn't hesitate if they were able to. If we die before they reach legal age or before they move out of their parents' house, the animals will have no where to go but the shelter.
Do you think it's irresponsible for us to have animals and/or add animals into the family without a backup plan? Where would your animals go if you passed away?
Comments
There is a very strong probability that I will get cancer - not only have I been tested for cancer genes (and have it) - 95% of my family since 1945 have died of cancer. Of the 5% who didn't die of cancer, only 1 (my dad) didn't have cancer when he died - a stroke got him instead. I've had a will since I was 18 and I've been told that I'm way too morbid. Nearly all of my family have planned out their memorial services because the longest anyone (with 3 exceptions - 15mos, 18mos, 24 mos) has lived after diagnosis was 6 months. My mom beat the odds the first time 1979 with metastatic breast cancer. She was diagnosed with adenocarcinoma in April 2005 and was gone at the beginning of July 2005. My family is aware of the various cancers and we get checked frequently, but a diagnosis in my family is rarely a good thing. Modern medicine hasn't figured out a way to keep us alive for very long.
When I got Jazz, I talked with various family members about taking her on - my brothers are up first (they are also my life insurance beneficiaries, alongside a trust that has been created for the support of any dog/cat that I own at the time of my death). My lawyer (one of my oldest friends) knew I wasn't joking about the setup - he's been to too many funerals in my family already. The other three are close friends who would take care of Jazz in the manner that she has become accustomed. The contract that I signed when I adopted Jazz had to be modified because the breeder had a death clause in the contract. That's one thing that you want to check out on the contract.
No one likes to think of these kinds of things - I am the godmother of almost all of my nieces and nephews (the exceptions are my step-nieces & nephews - they are all adults now, so that isn't that big of a deal), but I specifically asked my brothers to add a second person in their wills because of the probability of cancer. I tell people to have conversations about death, memorials, and things like this while they are healthy - it makes things a lot easier than when you are dealing with someone on their deathbed.
Rina - it's also very important that you guys do a living will. Discuss what you want...not just with each other, but your family. I've seen families torn apart by decisions made that they didn't know about.
Beebe would end up with my mother or be humanely euthanized, she wouldn't be adoptable.
21 hours and only a few responses, I guess no one really wants to think about it lol.
nikki/sachi will go to my in-laws while koda will go to my bro-in-law.
I mean, why should the dog die because you did?
I just don't understand that at all. Especially when breed rescue groups exist, sanctuaries, etc, and the capacity to set your plans way before anything should happen... I'm grateful Rina brought it up again in case anyone hasn't thought about it.
Trust me when I say that I feel no one can care for my dogs quite like I can, but I have a friend that I met through rescue that I would trust to leave them with if I was in a bind and had to be out of town for however long, and I would trust her exclusively should anything happen to me and my husband to make the right decisions on my dogs' behalf. She's an angel in my life, I'm so glad I know her.
And even though Tsuki has lots of allergies, and grade 1 LP, and Kitsune has social phobias and a bite history, I think they deserve to keep on living the life they were given even if I'm not there to share it. But this is just my view on the subject.
Well I have no doubt that our 3 cats would be taken in immediately by Jeremy's cat loving mother. She shares my passion for the 4 legged friends and would never let them go without a home.
The dog, I suppose, would go to my parents. I dont think they would have a problem with that, but I guess that is a conversation I should have pretty soon.
My dad use to live in London in the 80's & It reminds me of a story he told me of a guy in the 80's [ I think ] in England. He found out he had HIV, and so he donated vast amounts of Blood to spread the disease, he felt if he had to die so did other people. Just sad.~
But just as if I die before my husband I need to not be so selfish to want him to be alone (of course the Veruca Salt in me wants him to mourn me all eternity :P), I need to love my dogs enough to want them to have happiness beyond me.
I have many provisions in my will in regards to my expectations of my dogs guardians if Jason and I both pass. But BECAUSE I love my dogs I do my best to insure that they are happy and healthy with or without me.
As a breeder, having probably at least 10+ dogs...it must be difficult to find that many people who they really trust to take in the dogs. I have a hard time wondering if any of my friends could even take care of Ninja for a weekend.
I am not saying I am going to have Portia and Ninja humanely euthanized when we pass...but I can understand where that breeder is coming from. She is taking the responsibility of having her dogs humanely euthanized so they dont have the chance to live poorly or be overly-bred for money. Sounds harsh to some people and other's could understand.
I mean when I heard of it, I was shocked...but after thinking about it...I could understand why they chose that path. No one can tell the future and what it holds for us. It's impossible for someone to say "yes, I will die for your dog before I let anything happen" but when shit hits the fan, will they?
I mean how many people have you talked to who make a shocked expression when you tell them how much money you spend on their diet,vet bills or training? And what is their response? "It's just a dog" or "I can't believe you spend so much on a dog"
As it stands right now, here's the "line-up":
Lynxiene's Options:
...#1 Her daddy (actual sire) and his owner.
...#2 My father really likes her as well so he'd probably end up taking her in. He wants her to become HIS dog once she's retired from competition anyways <--- he'll have to fight me for this one but if I'm no longer around -shrugs-.
...#3 Her breeder (owner of dam).
...#4 Placed in a working home with someone who preferably has experience with Malinois or experience with working dogs.
Shoushuu's Options:
...in no particular order...
- My boyfriend and best friend (same person) would probably assume responsiblity for him. He doesn't have a dog yet, but he really wants a dog.
- Maybe some Shikoku breeder friends would be interested in taking him in???
- Can be placed easily in a family home who don't mind an active dog. He is very people social, dog social and cat social. So aside from the jumping and zoomies...he'd adapt just fine. Excellent Alert dog.
Kotomi's Options:
...also in no particular order...
- Go to my mom and my little sister, if they have a place to keep a dog.
- My boyfriend might end up keeping her or his family <--- his dad likes her a lot.
- Sent back to breeder in Japan and live the rest of her life as a Show dog.
- Easily placed as a family pet and even as a "beginner dog". She is people social, dog social, cat social. Has the zoomies, but she's not "over the top". Very calm and laid-backed, doesn't jump <-- so she won't knock over little kids!
My Cat's (Fiskars & Mia) Options:
- Go to my Mother and little sister.
- Perhaps my boyfriend will take care of them for me because they won't have anywhere else to go.
Fiskars is gonna be 11 years of age in May and Mia turned 4 years last November, so not sure about their "adoptability rate" as older domestic mixes.
I'm not "planning" on leaving this world anytime soon, so hopefully I'll have plenty of time for this. We'll see -smiles-.
This is a topic of great concern though with the "What if your time runs out and you have to leave somebody or a few somebodies behind?" What will happen to them?
Thanks for "re-bringing" this up, Rina!
I have a fund specifically for my animals caretakers as well as an executor of my will. To hopefully insure that my wishes are carried out.
I feel terribly sorry for any people who may not have at least one friend they can count on 100% of the time. I am beyond fortunate that I need more that one hand to count friends that I call my "kidney list friends". People whom I know would give me a kidney if needed and for whom I would do the same.
I understand where people come from in the idea of "humane euthanasia" although I will say (I truly mean no disrespect) I feel that thinking a dog is better off dead than in a home with people who love it (even if they don't roast fish for them nightly) is preposterous to the point of hubris. If someone is afraid of their dogs being overbred after their passing, add a spay/neuter clause to your will.
This is a deeply personal thing and no one answer is right for all people. And it is pretty hard to pass judgment on people for decisions they make about their families and death. For me personally there is no good reason to kill my beloved family members other than to end their physical suffering.
And now I'm totally buying that above mentioned friend of mine flowers or a roll of poop bags or something. She is, and I suspect will forever be, on my 'kidney list'. That cairn we are usually sitting/playing with? That's her dog. I would trust her entirely with my own.
My husband and I actually have our plans here (as well as document living wills) https://www.mywonderfullife.com/