Keiko says...
Someone found a weird website and inputted Keiko's name to get some 'sayings' about her... these were the ones I thought were kinda funny
When Keiko looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Keiko and Keiko.
Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Keiko. Keiko eats black holes. They taste like chicken.
People have often asked the United States, What is your secret weapon against terrorists? We simply reply...Keiko.
In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Keiko turned that wine into beer.
Keiko does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold. (cold vengeance poo *shudder*)
Keiko knows the last digit of pi.
When you say "no one's perfect", Keiko takes this as a personal insult.
When Keiko looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Keiko and Keiko.
Nothing can escape the gravity of a black hole, except for Keiko. Keiko eats black holes. They taste like chicken.
People have often asked the United States, What is your secret weapon against terrorists? We simply reply...Keiko.
In the Bible, Jesus turned water into wine. But then Keiko turned that wine into beer.
Keiko does not own a stove, oven, or microwave , because revenge is a dish best served cold. (cold vengeance poo *shudder*)
Keiko knows the last digit of pi.
When you say "no one's perfect", Keiko takes this as a personal insult.
Comments
Jesse
http://blog.esaba.com/projects/facts/index.php
Miso once sued the Houghton-Mifflin textbook company when it became apparent that their account of the war of 1812 was plagiarized from his autobiography.
Miso was originally offered the role as Frodo in Lord of the Rings. He declined because, "Only a pussy would need three movies to destroy a piece of jewelery."
Scotty in Star Trek often says �Ye cannae change the laws of physics.� This is untrue. Miso can change the laws of physics. With his fists.
Miso was what Willis was talkin' about.
Miso stared evil in the face, and it backed down.
When Miso talks, everybody listens. And dies.
Miso sleeps with a night light. Not because Miso is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Miso.
A man once taunted Sake with a bag of Lay's potato chips, saying "Betcha can't eat just one!" Sake proceeded to eat the chips, the bag, and the man in one deft move.
The square root of Sake is pain. Do not try to square Sake, the result is death.
There are four legal methods of execution in the United States: lethal injection, gas chamber, electric chair and Sake.
Sake invented the bolt-action rifle, liquor, sexual intercourse, and football-- in that order.
The truth will set you free. Unless Sake has you, in which case, forget it buddy!
Sake has held the World Championship in every weight class at the same time.
Sake can't finish a "color by numbers" because her markers are filled with the blood of her victims. Unfortunately, all blood is dark red.
Safyre once bench-pressed the entire state of Ohio, and all of its residents.
Tetsu was once in a knife fight, and the knife lost.
Most people know that Descarte said, "I think, therefore I am." What most people don't know is that that quote continues, "...afraid of Tetsu."
When Tikaani falls in water, Tikaani doesn't get wet. Water gets Tikaani.
On a high school math test, Tikaani put down "Violence" as every one of the answers. He got an A+ on the test because Tikaani solves all his problems with Violence.
That one cracked me up for some reason.
Jazz doesn’t throw up if she drinks too much. Jazz throws down!
When Jazz answers the phone, she just says “Go”. This is not permission
for you to begin speaking, it is your cue to start running for your life.
Jazz doesn’t read books. She stares them down until she gets the information she wants.
When Jazz calls 1-900 numbers, she doesn’t get charged. She holds up the phone and money falls out.
Google won’t search for Jazz because it knows you don’t find Jazz, she finds you.
‘Icy-Hot’ is too weak for Jazz. After a workout, Jazz rubs her muscles down with liquid-hot MAGMA.
A Handicap parking sign does not signify that this spot is for handicapped people. It is actually in fact a warning, that the spot belongs to Jazz and that you will be handicapped if you park there.
Jazz can delete the Recycling Bin.
Jazz once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.
Most people fear the Reaper. Jazz considers him “a promising Rookie”.
Kuma counted to infinity - twice. (in his sleep, I bet)
Kuma can lead a horse to water AND make it drink. (I bet that's what he was trying to do in that video!)
Kuma does not get frostbite. Kuma bites frost (And ther's video proof of this!)
Police label anyone attacking Kuma as a Code 45-11.... a suicide.
If you spell Nyx in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
While urinating, Kuma is easily capable of welding titanium.
Nyx has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in her way.
Paper beats rock, rock beats scissors, and scissors beats paper, but Kuma beats all 3 at the same time.
Nyx makes onions CRY!!!
Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Tom is on.
Beth doesn't play god. Playing is for children.
If at first you don't succeed, you're not Beth.
Noah was the only man notified before Nola relieved herself in the Atlantic Ocean.
Nola can divide by zero.
Nola doesn't chew gum. Nola chews tin foil.
Giraffes were created when Nola uppercutted a horse.
Bullets dodge Nola.
Nola eats lightning and farts thunder.
Bella:
Bella has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
Most tough men eat nails for breakfast. Bella does all of her grocery shopping at Home Depot.
If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Bella says its beef, then it's beef.
Bella is not Politically Correct. She is just Correct. Always.
Bella eats a bowl of diamonds every morning.
Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Bella is on.
And... One for me:
Casey is like a dog, not only because she can smell fear, but because she can piss on whatever she wants.
Kristin was once charged with attempted murdered in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the chargesbecause Kristin does not "attempt" murder.
Kristin can split the atom. With her bare hands.
Staring at Kristin for extended periods of time without proper eye protection will cause blindess, and possibly foot sized brusies on the face.
Kristin can slam revolving doors.
Kristin can drown a fish.
Never look a gift Kristin in the mouth, because she will bite your damn eyes off.
A high tide means Kristin is flying over your coast. The tide is caused by God pissing his pants.
Kristin can blow bubbles with beef jerky.
Kristin has 12 moons. One of those moons is the Earth.
Kristin CAN in fact 'raise the roof'. And she can do it with one hand.
If you spell Kristin in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
Kristin's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no one fools Kristin.
Mr. T pities the fool. Kristin rips the fool's head off.
Kristin never wet her bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.
In the first Jurassic Park movie, the Tyrannosaurus Rex wasn't chasing the jeep. Kristin was chasing the Tyrannosaurus AND the jeep.
Divide Kristin by zero and you will in fact get one........one bad-ass that is.
It is considered a great accomplishment to go down Niagara Falls in a wooden barrel. Ichi can go up Niagara Falls in a cardboard box. (LOL We're going to Niagra in 2 weeks!)
When God said, "let there be light", Ichi said, "say 'please'."
Ichi got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Ichi for every answer. (ROFL Love the pun!)
There is endless debate about the existence of the human soul. Well it does exist, and Ichi finds it delicious.
While urinating, Ichi is easily capable of welding titanium.
Ichi doesn't open a can of whoopass. He makes his own. (he is one fart machine)
In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Ichi could use to kill you, including the room itself. (Ichi the killer)
For every person Mother Nature kills, Ichi kills five.
Ichi has a deep and abiding respect for human life... unless it gets in his way. (very Shiba)
Ichi invented black. In fact, he invented the entire spectrum of visible light. Except pink. Tom Cruise invented pink.
Ichi did not "lose" his virginity, he stalked it and then destroyed it with extreme prejudice.
Some people like to eat frogs' legs. Ichi likes to eat lizard legs. Hence, snakes.
No matter what your mother always said, Ichi can tune a fish.
I'm going to stop because I can go all day with this.
Jesse
Jesse visits an active volcano every morning to get some of "the best damn espresso on Earth".
Jesse
Jesse can win at solitaire with only 18 cards.
Hmmm...I'm going to start a thread with this...Thanks Evan!
Jesse