scary dog owners
so I was taking toki for a walk yesterday and ran into a owner and her dog both of us on leash
the owner saw me as we were approaching each other and commented about toki and was friendly and inviting us to meet her and her dog
toki being 9 months and very dog friendly bounded over to the dog
the dog seemed interested but slightly put off that toki was so forward
and then the dog's owner literally screamed high pitched to her dog "what's the matter with you" and the dog, startled of course as was I, started backing away and got out of his collar and the owner just start screaming more at her dog
and said that her dog had gotten out of his collar 3 or 4 times and away from her and if he did it one more time he was on his own
and the whole thing ended with a very scared and nervous dog and his owner saying how the dog is scared of all dogs even chihuahuas
I apologized for toki's forwardness and left immediately not wanting toki to get near him and possibly attacked but was wondering if i should have said something to her about her reaction and her dog's response...or if anyone has had a similar experience has anyone actually said something to another owner?
the owner saw me as we were approaching each other and commented about toki and was friendly and inviting us to meet her and her dog
toki being 9 months and very dog friendly bounded over to the dog
the dog seemed interested but slightly put off that toki was so forward
and then the dog's owner literally screamed high pitched to her dog "what's the matter with you" and the dog, startled of course as was I, started backing away and got out of his collar and the owner just start screaming more at her dog
and said that her dog had gotten out of his collar 3 or 4 times and away from her and if he did it one more time he was on his own
and the whole thing ended with a very scared and nervous dog and his owner saying how the dog is scared of all dogs even chihuahuas
I apologized for toki's forwardness and left immediately not wanting toki to get near him and possibly attacked but was wondering if i should have said something to her about her reaction and her dog's response...or if anyone has had a similar experience has anyone actually said something to another owner?
Comments
I can understand her frustration but it is completely misdirected and not helpful. I have been very angry with Sage, long ago before I learned to understand him and see his perspective, and I did yell at him "You aren't even TRYING, you KNOW what to do!" I didn't back then understand the power his fear has over him, and how deeply it was part of him. I didn't know I was asking too much of him, even though going about in public was such a piece of cake for my older dog, Reilly. I hope that this woman can step back and get a trainer. But the problem for us, the passerby, is what to say in a short time to someone you don't know?
Often I talk to the DOG first rather than address the owner. "WOw, you're super cute, but man that prong collar (or whatever) is WAAY too much for a little guy like you! huh? yeah!" Other times if you offer a suggestion for one part of the problem like "Flat martingales collars are designed so dogs can wear a loose collar that they can't slip out of." and if the person seems engaged you can go into "He does seem really scared, maybe if you blah blah blah...and you know what? dogs actually..." and offer information. I am not good at direct confrontation, or quick-fired. The goal is to get the owner to find another way- even though she DESERVES to be screamed at and yanked around by a collar herself.
People often have no idea what they are doing, or how to find information and help. It was not so long ago that "Obedience School" was viewed by the general public as only for people with competition dogs. Family Dog class and Puppy K became widespread only relatively recently. I think Ian Dunbar developed his Puppy Kindergarten Class in 1977. In the 70's & 80's, we never thought for a minute of taking the dog to a class, consulting a trainer, or buying a book on training. My parents would never have spent money on schooling the dog- heck, mom would not even let me buy a tag for our dog's collar. I think this attitude still prevails in people of certain generations, and locales. I dont think they want to be this way (well, most of them- some ARE unchangeable morons- ask me for my story about the owner of the giant GSD I met at the vets sometime) but they have not seen the way that they- yes, they themselves- can do things differently.
When you are as deep into dogs as most of us on the forum are, we forget that most dog-owning-people still have barely wet their toes, and most will never go above their ankles if they dont have to. THIS must be why you read about dog breeds that are 'not for first-time owners' or 'not for everyone.'
I gather this lady felt similarly embarassed when her dog had a completely natural response, because she doesn't know how to deal with it.
I read an interesting story about a woman in a rural area with a spay wagon, and how she goes around and educates people about spay/neuter and dog-treatment issues. People are suspicious and want to be left alone, but she comes with some free dog stuff- a box of milk bones and gets them talking about their dog chained to a wheel rim. He says the dog is crazy in the house and must live outside, she is able to gently convince him that maybe the dog can come in at night and how to give him a betterlife. She gives the guy -free- a donated pulley line, so the dog can have more room to walk. She is pleased when as she leaves he starts to install it. She hopes when she comes back she can get him to agree to spay/neuter his dog. I will need to remember what her wagon is called so I can link to it for you guys...
http://www.suesternberg.com/00wheels.html
Go read the rest of the page for some good stories about owners turning around their attitude!
" Lug-Nuts™ is a Training Wheels® program that organizes and hosts informal weight-pulling contests.
Most dog fights are not organized by professional dog fighters, but rather by kids spontaneously sparring their own pet dogs. Breeding their dogs and selling puppies, along with winning casual corner fights, can be profitable and compelling for teens.
Many young people have few role models for positive, healthy, constructive interactions with dogs. Often, the only "sport" these kids see is dog fighting or sparring. Weight pulling has all the elements of dog fighting--the excitement, the competitiveness, the machismo, the thrill--but none of the violence, blood shed, or cruelty. The Lug Nuts program is an antidote to dog fighting.
Plastic children's snow sleds are loaded up with bags of dog food. These have known weights and also make great prizes afterwards. Dogs are hooked up to the sled with a dog-sled gang line and wear padded pulling harnesses. The most gifted dogs at weight-pulling are the "muscle" and "bull" breeds and their mixes. There are no age limitations and no prior training is needed. A dog cannot be forced to pull. A good relationship, a strong bond, and a strong dog are often all that is required. Hot dogs are offered as lures for owners to encourage the dog to move forward.
Cash prizes (and pet supplies) are offered for first, second, third and sometimes fourth place. Cash prizes are doubled if the winner is sterilized, and access to free spaying and neutering is offered. So, far, in all but one contest, the second place winner was already fixed, and the second place winner won more cash than the first place winner. "