Responsibly rehoming your dog
I'm stuck at work for about 11 hours (it's Sunday...) and I have a little downtime between tasks, so I wanted to start a discussion on how we feel about making the decision to find a new home for your best friend(s). I'm hoping it turns into a helpful thread that we can point a member to when they are looking for information to best help them make that difficult decision.
Some questions to answer might be:
-In your opinion, what are acceptable reasons to find a better home for your dog?
*Is getting a divorce a good reason?
*Is job-loss okay?
*Is moving out of state reason enough?
*A baby on the way?
*How about 2 dogs not getting along?
*Is it a personal matter that no one has a right to judge?
*Etc.
-How should you go about finding this new home?
*Craigslist?
*Newspaper?
*Breed-specific rescue?
*Local shelter (usually a facility that euthanizes)?
*Family or friend?
*Original breeder?
*Etc.
-What are some things you should do to ensure the new family is a good fit?
-What are some things you can do for your pet to make it more adoptable?
These are just some of the questions that popped into my head. I think it'd be great if anyone has any questions to add, and hopefully we can have a great discussion!
Some questions to answer might be:
-In your opinion, what are acceptable reasons to find a better home for your dog?
*Is getting a divorce a good reason?
*Is job-loss okay?
*Is moving out of state reason enough?
*A baby on the way?
*How about 2 dogs not getting along?
*Is it a personal matter that no one has a right to judge?
*Etc.
-How should you go about finding this new home?
*Craigslist?
*Newspaper?
*Breed-specific rescue?
*Local shelter (usually a facility that euthanizes)?
*Family or friend?
*Original breeder?
*Etc.
-What are some things you should do to ensure the new family is a good fit?
-What are some things you can do for your pet to make it more adoptable?
These are just some of the questions that popped into my head. I think it'd be great if anyone has any questions to add, and hopefully we can have a great discussion!
Comments
-In your opinion, what are acceptable reasons to find a better home for your dog?
Personally, I would go homeless if it meant my animals had a place to stay, but if I had no safe place to keep them and didn't see a way to rectify that situation, I would consider finding new homes. I have 8 animals right now, so keeping all 8 with me would be difficult if I had suddenly lost my home (perhaps to a fire) and couldn't find or afford a place to house them. If I was expecting to move (for several months, let's say) due to a job-change, divorce, up- or down-sizing, then I would make it a priority to find a home that fit our needs.
-How should you go about finding this new home?
I think the perfect combination would be to contact a breed-specific rescue and have them "advertise" your pet on their website, while the pet remained in your home until a great home was screened and approved by the rescue. That would take some of the pressure off your shoulders while you were dealing with an emotional situation.
What are some things you should do to ensure the new family is a good fit?
If I were to try and find a new home for my animals, I would make sure I knew about the family's currents or previous pets, the condition of their home and yard, and make sure the entire family was willing and able to take care of my pet. I wouldn't allow the adopter to come pick up my pet without seeing their home and their interactions with the dog, and I would maybe consider a "trial period" so that all parties could be very comfortable with the decision.
-What are some things you can do for your pet to make it more adoptable?
A fully and recently vetted dog is a must! I would never consider giving my dog to someone if they were due for shots or treatments. If my animals weren't already altered, I would absolutely get them spayed/neutered too. I think a clean and well-groomed dog would help with the process too.
Another question: As a person giving up their dog, would you expect the new owner to reimburse you for any or all expenses you've put into the dog, possibly including the purchase price?
-In your opinion, what are acceptable reasons to find a better home for your dog?
Ultimately, it really varies from person to person, and I can't think of a blanket statement that would apply universally. But I can think of specific examples that I've encountered.
Someone in a domestic abuse situation and ready to check herself into a shelter for an indefinite amount of time. I've known of people who take the time to rehome their pet before escaping from their abusers, and this speaks volumes about their love for their pet. In a better world, domestic abuse shelters would ALLOW pets too, and I think the more progressive ones will consider it. But I don't think that works at every shelter.
Someone who had to move out of the country to take care of dying/ill family members for an extended period of time, and said country is rabies-free or demands a strict quarantine period such that it'd be a psychological burden on an ailing or decrepit dog. The UK, for example, used to have a *six month* quarantine period. Hawai'i, I think, used to be 3 months (now as little as 5 days?). I think that's now changed a bit, but I would not want to subject any pet to such a long quarantine.
Someone with child and economic pressures who is really maxed out for financial resources and cannot provide a stable home and the time for a dog who is expressing *aggressive* behavioral problems. Now if it's something like "Ack, the 6-month-old dog is chewing up all the kid's toys and we don't have time to take him to training," that's when I think there's still some room for practical intervention. Someone can diplomatically tell such a person how to train their kids to train their dog, especially if the kids are anywhere older than, say, 6 years old. But if you have dogs that are lashing out, and the family cannot or is not willing to hire the help that is needed to correct such behaviors, it's better to get the dog out of the situation and put him in another where he will succeed.
Etc., etc., I can think of others, but that's again because I think "acceptable" reasons vary on a case-by-case basis. For me personally, I feel like I've gone through some extremes to stick by Bowdu, who is the first dog that I would call my "own" (along with my partner). In my childhood, my family has also rehomed two dogs for reasons that I now consider to be illegitimate. I've considered this issue from multiple angles, and while I think the vast majority of reasons people offer for giving up their dogs are too easy, too convenient, and ethically "wrong" in my opinion, the person who is surrendering their dog has, for whatever reason, rationalized it as the "correct" or sometimes even the "only" thing for them to do. I have less chance of convincing them otherwise if I immediately talk down to them like they're such a horrible person for even considering giving up their dog.
Though I'm not always interested in changing morons' minds, because it can't always be done and takes too much energy to try.
-How should you go about finding this new home?
In a perfect system, the very first line of recourse would be a responsible breeder. I think the bottom line for any breeder worth his or her salt is to guarantee that they will take back the dog that they bred and find them another good home, for ANY reason at ANY point in their lives. I've seen this in action, right before my eyes, on the breed-specific forum for my other breed. One anecdote that comes to mind is when the daughter of someone who just died came to the forum advertising her deceased father's dog. The dog was like 8 years old and had never known another owner in his lifetime. Other forum members asked who the dog's breeder was, and if they'd been contacted. The poster named the dog's breeder, and the breeder happened to be a forum member. The very next week, the breeder and daughter met up to bring the dog "back home." If we have souls after we die, that father's soul must surely have been at peace to know that someone would do right by his dog, even after his death. It's amazing when it happens, and it's reasonable to expect that it should happen. But the reality is of course that phenomenal breeders who can and will account for the entire lifetime of their pets is rare.
So when it doesn't happen, I think a well-organized rescue is the way to go. Breed specific rescues would probably be the best, but not all have the luxury of consistent foster homes, resources, a safe facility, and everything that is needed to keep the rescue operable and responsive.
There are pros and cons to the other options that you list, and they can all work under *specific* and *appropriate* conditions, but I don't feel like going into it right now.
-What are some things you should do to ensure the new family is a good fit?
I think just like rescues, you have to take your time to go through a multi-level screening process. No "first come, first serve" mentality. Communicate with potential families, and if ANYthing doesn't feel right on a gut level, back out. It's not worth it if your dog ends up in the wrong home. Visit their home. If they don't allow a home visit, no deal. Ask for references (vet and personal references). Keep in touch after the adoption, follow up. And if it's in your means, always offer yourself as a safety net if for ANY REASON it doesn't work out.
Adoption applications for established rescues are a good place to look for the kinds of questions one can ask potential adopters.
Skipping your second to last question, but for the last... I think asking for some "compensation" to "make up for" how much one has already "invested" in their pet (all terms I've seen before) is distasteful. Your pet is not a piggy bank. If you're truly interested in finding the pet a good home, you'll do a better job if you're not hankering over any amount of money you've "lost." But I do know why rescue organizations need adoption fees to compensate for their operations expenses, which I think most of the public is still extremely uninformed about. And I absolutely believe that individuals need to set a fair rehoming fee to screen out wackos. Individual rescuers are unfortunately at a bit of a loss on that account... it just looks really bad, for example, if you've purchased a litter of puppies from an ex-breeder (thereby lining their pockets), gone through the trouble of raising and socializing and fixing them all, but then turn around and ask upwards of $600 for all that you've put in, even if you're only "breaking even." Ultimately, maybe the lesson should be that when you're rehoming a pet, you lose much more than the money? But how that is conveyed, if that is conveyed at all, varies from person to person.
First, I try to not to judge people too much, but I have to admit, I'm not so good about not making judgements in these kind of cases, because I see people being irresponsible with animals way too often, as I'm sure we all do.
So what is an acceptable reason for rehoming an animal? Moving is not a good enough reason (esp. the "I'm moving to a place that doesn't allow pets!"), unless it is part of an overall crisis that cannot be avoided (loss of home, no job, going into a shelter as in MC's example, etc). Having a baby is not a good reason.
My Experience:
I tried to rehome dogs twice, and once I succeeded in a way I'm not thrilled with, and one dog (Bel) I still have. In both cases, I tried to rehome the dogs because it was clear that the fighting between my dogs meant one of them was likely to be seriously injured or die if I did not do something (and I didn't have the experience then to know about behavioralists, etc.) One dog, a pitbull mix I'd adopted from the shelter and had for a few months and I ended up taking him back to the shelter, though I took him to a no-kill shelter rather than one I'd got him from. I wish I'd tried harder with him, but at that point, I didn't have enough experience to know what to do with him, and it was clear that Toby was going to kill him if I didn't do something. I would say that was not an ideal way to handle this, but all around, getting that dog was something I shouldn't have done at all, and I regret how badly I handled everything.
Then I had Bel, and after her and Toby got in their near deadly (for Toby) fight, I decided I had to rehome one of them. I knew Toby would be easier--even though he is very dog aggressive, he's good with people, but I couldn't bear to give him up, so I tried to find a place for her. First I contacted her breeder, who did agree to take her back, but I couldn't bear the thought of sending her back to live on a farm with a whole bunch of roaming dogs, so I advertised her on Shiba rescue. She's a pretty girl, but I was upfront about her problems, and explained how badly she'd hurt Toby. I also noted that she's fearful of people, and low thyroid. I got some email inquiries, but once I talked to people about her, I rarely heard from the again. A family came out to meet her, and she hid from them and only came out to bark at their child, so obviously, she wasn't really appealing to them, but I also just felt heart broken thinking about how terrified my little crazy girl would be with people she didn't know. At that point, I decided just to keep her as I'd gotten used to keeping her and Toby separate. I think I did handle my situation with Bel much better than I did with the other dog.
What I'd do:
I might try to rehome a dog if the dog really didn't get along with the other dogs, if I could find a good home for them, though I also think it's often not that hard to keep them separate. First, I'd go back to the breeder. I'd also see if I knew (and trusted) anyone who would make a good home for the dog. Then I'd go through breed rescue. If I were going give up a dog to someone who didn't go through breed rescue, I'd vet them in much the same way rescues do: with lots of questions and a home check, etc. I would ask only a small rehoming fee to make sure the people were serious (like $100).
Mostly, I think people give up on dogs too quick. That said, I think sometimes people find new homes for animals that really work out. I think about how Brad has been able to find wonderful homes for dogs that for whatever reason weren't fitting in with his pack, and it seems to be that has really worked out well. One of my friends has a GSD and she does virtually nothing with him--his life is inside the house with short forays into the small backyard, and if she had found a good, more active home for him, I think that wouldn't have been a bad thing. (Not now, but when he was younger). I suspect Toby would be happier as an only dog. But too bad! He's stuck with us!
Most of the situations I've heard were pretty complicated. I don't think there's a list of acceptable or unacceptable reasons, but generally speaking, if the dog is doing poorly in your home (and it isn't due to your own negligence or laziness) then it may be time to look for a different home.
*Is getting a divorce a good reason?
Not in and of itself, but divorce is devastating, financially and emotionally, and it changes your life in ways you hadn't expected. Nobody plans on divorce, so usually (I suspect) people get the dog thinking they will not ever get divorced, and then they end up getting divorced. So, depending on the situation, something might happen. If I were to get divorced, I would think that Noah and I would discuss where the pets would go and they would be divided between us somehow. Of course, this is all in theory, I've never actually gotten divorced, so what do I know?
*Is job-loss okay?
Not in and of itself, but it's another one of those things you don't think will happen. Of course, when you get a dog, you have to take into account how secure you are in your income
*Is moving out of state reason enough?
I don't see why that would matter.
*A baby on the way?
Heh... no. I've had three babies since we got our first dog, I've talked to a lot of women who have had children after getting a dog, and I can tell you that this isn't a good reason to get rid of your dog. The people who do get rid of their dog usually say that they don't have time, but when you really get to talking to them, it usually comes out that they feel differently about the dog after having the baby. Kind of like the dog was a placeholder for the baby, and now that the baby is here, they have no interest in their dog anymore. That's just something they have to get over, because it's really selfish an immature. I didn't have those negative feelings, but if I did, I would treat it like a problem that had to be dealt with, not an excuse to dump the dog. Heck, I get sick of my kids all the time, and that's my queue to grow up and get over it. I'm the grown-up here, and my kids and my pets depend on me and I have to act responsibly.
*How about 2 dogs not getting along?
I've dealt with dogs not getting along, and I think it would really depend. It was a factor when we rehomed Skella because Rakka had a tendency to really pester her and she was a very soft and sensitive dog. We managed, and that by itself wouldn't have caused us to rehome her, but there were other factors at play, too.
*Is it a personal matter that no one has a right to judge?
Yes, it is a personal matter, as are most decisions. I think rehoming your dog is usually the wrong thing to do, but I can only judge for myself and my life. When someone else rehomes a dog, I will have all sorts of opinions about it, and they might hear all those opinions, but it's their call in the end. Like I said before, situations like this are usually complicated. It's usually a result of humans making poor judgment calls, but sometimes you find yourself having made a poor decision and you're just doing damage control. Happens in all areas of life.
-How should you go about finding this new home?
*Craigslist?
*Newspaper?
*Breed-specific rescue?
*Local shelter (usually a facility that euthanizes)?
*Family or friend?
*Original breeder?
Classified ads - Well, there's nothing wrong with classified ads in and of themselves, but I don't think you're very likely to get people responding who you actually want to give a dog to. Classifieds are mostly filled with BYBs selling their designer dogs, so you can extrapolate that the majority of people looking through those ads don't have very high standards and aren't expecting the person they get their dog from to have very high standards, either.
Shelter - No.
Breed specific rescue - they're good to contact. They have a whole network set up and will definitely help you find the right home.
Breed specific communities (like this forum) are really awesome, too. You're a group of people brought together by your shared interest for dogs and usually, your shared beliefs on dog ownership. I obtained Rakka through this forum, and I know many members have found their dogs here as well. Rakka's previous owner needed to rehome her, they contacted the breeder, and the breeder told her to post here. I read the post, responded, and the rest is history. They never would have been able to find someone locally who knew anything about shikoku, and even failing that, it's hard to find people who are good dog owners.
-What are some things you should do to ensure the new family is a good fit?
The best thing you can do is get to know them and see what kind of people they are. Questionnaires are good for getting those deal-breaker questions out of the way. You're always taking a bit of a gamble.
-What are some things you can do for your pet to make it more adoptable?
Fully vetted, healthy, clean, and trained.
Another question: As a person giving up their dog, would you expect the new owner to reimburse you for any or all expenses you've put into the dog, possibly including the purchase price?
No.
I have seen too many neglected dogs who would have been so much happier if their owners had been selfless enough to come to the conclusion that their dog deserves more attention than they can provide.
In an ideal world, we all would be able to take into account, everything that will occur in the 12-20 years a dog may live and plan accordingly. But lets face it. No one can plan for everything.
Patricia McConnell writes a great chapter about this in "The Other End of The Leash". If you haven't read that book, everyone should.
I hope to never be put in a position where I would have to consider placing my dogs with another family. It would kill me. But I also hope that I am woman enough to put the needs and happiness of my dogs before my pride, and selfishness.