The Funniest Things Your Neighbors Have Overheard You Say to Your Dog(s)
It after midnight and Tosca has to go out. She hadn't peed or pooed when I had taken her out previously so she had a time-out in her crate. We're in the midst of an ice storm her in CT, so I wasn't going to wander the yard because she won't go during rain or freezing rain; snow, however, is fine. We're under the deck outside my door and she begins to examine the doorstep. I say, loudly:
"If you shit on my welcome mat, it's on! OK?"
Then I hear laughter. I look around the corner and my neighbor is looking out her door. She works for a school, so she keeps an eye on the weather in case she'll have to wake up early to clear her driveway or something. She smiled and then said "Dogs are great, aren't they?"
I know we all say odd things to our dogs. I'm not alone in being overheard either, so what was you best "It's a dog-person thing," moment. I've had a few more, but I'll give you all a chance.
"If you shit on my welcome mat, it's on! OK?"
Then I hear laughter. I look around the corner and my neighbor is looking out her door. She works for a school, so she keeps an eye on the weather in case she'll have to wake up early to clear her driveway or something. She smiled and then said "Dogs are great, aren't they?"
I know we all say odd things to our dogs. I'm not alone in being overheard either, so what was you best "It's a dog-person thing," moment. I've had a few more, but I'll give you all a chance.
Comments
Or.... "Good poop Keiko!!!! Good Girl!!! Yay Keiko!!!!!" - followed by a treat... /sigh
As you can tell potty is a daily struggle for us lol
"What a good poo-poo!"
"Are you nibbling your little sister again? Naughty boy!"
"Stop licking your brother's wee wee."
What my neighbors must think of me.
I was pretty embarrassed but also a little tiffed that he watched me goof around for so long like an idiot. Oh well, Sam got the love that she needed.
"Sake, stop humping your brother...licking his junk isn't any better!"
"Listen you psycho little dogs, take a crap so I can go back to bed!"
And waaaaay more embarrassing than that:
"Awwww, Lucy, you kiss me with that tongue!" (said after she ate something nasty outside)
Dave, that has serious potential!
I'm not sure we've said anything worth hearing, other than congrats for deucing or my hub's famous way to keep count of who did what on a walk "5 down, one to go - we're just waiting on your twosie Hachi". Because, you see, when we got to 3 or 4 dogs per walk, keeping count was vital and each function became a one up for John.
And recently we were at the state park and Tsuki found and rolled on a dead crow and John yelled "Tsuki! You just brought some bad juju on us all!" but I don't think anyone heard him.. but someone did hear him when we were almost back to the car and we saw a few crows flying - he looked up and said to her "they know...".
Though, I always yell "Toby, go poopies!" or "Toby go potty!" and I complained a lot when I had to take him outside in freezing weather when he was younger. My words were very colourful.
"Come on, he doesn't need you to chew on that" -Tikaani has a habit of grabbing a random body part of Tetsu's, and shaking him like a stuffed animal
"Way to go dog, that's what you get when you make a puddle" -not a piddle puddle, but the muddy kind you get when the dogs come in from the rain. Let them in and they just bolt across the kitchen to the living room and back. Puppy paws, linoleum floors and wet spots equals a lot of falling onto the floor and sliding into the oven
That would be a sight to see though! haha ~
Have you ever said anything to your birds/iguana that your family overheard and thought was funny?
"Gackt! Leave Lulu alone, he does NOT love you!" or "Sephiroth, Misa is HALF your age, you pedophile!" or "STOP FIGHTING! Don't make me come over there!"
They also get "Bless you's" when they sneeze. lol
Nothing special though...but I've caught the family secretly talking to them too. Maybe we're all just a little crazy. lol ~
Takara stop humping Meiko"
"Beatle, Copper, Meiko, Takara do NOT eat the puppy"
At 4 a.m. when I get up..."Copper..drop it, you are not bringing that poppy inside"
And of course...I am sure they have heard the wonderful screams and yells from inside the house. Siiigghhh....we have such mouthy Shibas, I am surprised our new neighbors haven't commented.
Navi likes to sniff my butt when I bend over.
I started giving Tosca a bully stick when she's in her crate and, thankfully, she's a lot less neurotic about it now. I do not, however, appriciate drool-covered bovine wang being left to stick to my rug, or worse, my bed. Therefore the bully stick is a crate-only treat. Tosca doesn't agree with the edict in the slightest and will, with the greatest of stealth, sneak into her crate, retrieve the bully stick, and I'll find her in the living room some time later blissfully chewing her prize. This evening I caught her trying to liberate her snack and yelled:
"No! I don't want soggy bull penis on my floor!"
My parents must've heard me because I could here my mother laughing without even going upstairs.
love these crazy dogs.
Could be worse, she could be trying to take it to the bed.
"Sit, sit, sit, sit," As he completely ignores me infront of other people.
Jesse